‘Stay, for God’s sake, for an instant,’ I cried in an involuntary outburst. I didn’t know what I was saying and could scarcely stand upright. ‘For God’s sake … it is too cruel!’
She glanced at me.
‘To-morrow, to-morrow evening,’ she said, ‘not to-day, I beseech you—go away to-day … to-morrow evening come to the garden gate, near the lake. I will be there, I will come.… I swear to you I will come,’ she added with passion, and her eyes shone; ‘whoever may hinder me, I swear! I will tell you everything, only let me go to-day.’
And before I could utter a word she was gone. Utterly distraught, I stayed where I was. My head was in a whirl. Across the mad rapture, which filled my whole being, there began to steal a feeling of apprehension.… I looked round. The dim, damp room in which I was standing oppressed me with its low roof and dark walls.
I went out and walked with dejected steps towards the house. Vera was waiting for me on the terrace; she went into the house directly I drew near, and at once retreated to her bedroom.
I went away.
How I spent the night and the next day till the evening I can’t tell you. I only remember that I lay, my face hid in my hands, I recalled her smile before our kiss, I whispered—‘At last, she.…’
I recalled, too, Madame Eltsov’s words, which Vera had repeated to me. She had said to her once, ‘You are like ice; until you melt as strong as stone, but directly you melt there’s nothing of you left.’
Another thing recurred to my mind; Vera and I had once been talking of talent, ability.
‘There’s only one thing I can do,’ she said; ‘keep silent till the last minute.’