“I don’t think they will keep me—I shall be dismissed,” Nejdanov replied.
“But don’t you intend going away of your own accord?”
“I ... No!”
“Why not?”
“Do you want to know the truth? Because you are here.” Mariana lowered her head and moved a little further down the room.
“Besides,” Nejdanov continued, “I must stay here. You know nothing—but I want—I feel that I must tell you everything.” He approached Mariana and seized her hand; she did not take it away, but only looked straight into his face. “Listen!” he exclaimed with sudden force, “Listen!”
And instantly, without stopping to sit down, although there were two or three chairs in the room, still standing before her and holding her hand, with heated enthusiasm and with an eloquence, surprising even to himself, he began telling her all his plans, his intentions, his reason for having accepted Sipiagin’s offer, about all his connections, acquaintances, about his past, things that he had always kept hidden from everybody. He told her about Vassily Nikolaevitch’s letters, everything—even about Silin! He spoke hurriedly, without a single pause or the smallest hesitation, as if he were reproaching himself for not having entrusted her with all his secrets before—as if he were begging her pardon. She listened to him attentively, greedily; she was bewildered at first, but this feeling soon wore off. Her heart was overflowing with gratitude, pride, devotion, resoluteness. Her face and eyes shone; she laid her other hand on Nejdanov’s—her lips parted in ecstasy. She became marvellously beautiful!
He ceased at last, and suddenly seemed to see this face for the first time, although it was so dear and so familiar to him. He gave a deep sigh.
“Ah! how well I did to tell you everything!” He was scarcely able to articulate the words.
“Yes, how well—how well!” she repeated, also in a whisper. She imitated him unconsciously—her voice, too, gave way. “And it means,” she continued, “that I am at your disposal, that I want to be useful to your cause, that I am ready to do anything that may be necessary, go wherever you may want me to, that I have always longed with my whole soul for all the things that you want—”