CHAPTER V
THE FAMILY AND THE GROWTH OF INDIVIDUAL PERSONALITY
The considerations raised at the end of the last chapter We must recognise both the sexual and the individual aspects of development were somewhat in the nature of a digression. Such a digression was however inevitable, for the questions involved in the controversy between the psychological schools of Vienna and Zürich (whose leading exponents are Freud and Jung respectively) are of fundamental importance for our present inquiry. Our whole attitude towards the psychological problems presented by the family relationships must to a very considerable extent depend upon whether we believe, as the more extreme exponents of the Zürich school would sometimes seem to do, that the whole significance of these problems lies in the fact that they are intimately concerned with the development of the vital energies and independence of the individual, or whether (following the Vienna school) we feel bound to recognise also the existence of a number of highly important sexual aspects which, directly or indirectly, play a fundamental rôle in the psychology of the family.
Our short review of the principal points concerned in this controversy (so far as they touch our present purpose) has led us to the conclusion that the sexual aspects with which we were dealing in Chapters II and III possess more than a mere symbolical significance—that they must in fact be looked upon as, for the most part, actually being that which they appear to be, i. e. manifestations of (relatively) infantile tendencies which, as regards their nature and origin, are continuous with, and comparable to, the fully developed sexual tendencies of adult life.
We concluded also, however, that besides these sexual aspects there are other important aspects of family life, which may legitimately be looked upon as fundamental factors in the psychic growth and development of individuality. These factors it is now our duty to study somewhat more closely, before we pass on (as we shall do in the next chapter) to consider the variations and abnormalities that may occur in the development of the individual's mental attitude towards the other members of his family.
Apart altogether from the questions of mysticism and Difficulties of individual development symbolism, with which Jung and his followers have tended to surround the whole matter, it is I think, abundantly clear that normal psychic development involves a gradual emergence from a condition of dependence on parental authority and care to one in which the individual is dependent to a greater or less extent upon his own efforts as regards his livelihood, and upon his own judgment as regards his conduct[29]. Failure in such development will result in a relatively feeble adult personality—one which still seeks the support of its parents (or their substitutes), when it should have learnt to stand alone. Such failures are, however, (as all psycho-analysts will admit) of very frequent occurrence. Normal development in this respect appears to be at least as difficult as in the case of the sexual tendencies we have already considered, and is liable, as in their case also, to arrests and retardations at various points and to regressions to earlier stages of development, whenever serious obstacles and difficulties are encountered.
It would seem possible to distinguish two main aspects of Self-preservation this process of development, though in real life these two aspects are, it is almost needless to say, throughout intimately connected with one another. The first, and more primitive aspect, is that which is concerned with the actual manifestations of vital activity for the purpose of self-preservation and for bringing about the fulfilment of the individual's aims and desires. During babyhood the child is almost entirely dependent on his parents or other grown-up persons for the accomplishment of these objects: at best he can only indicate by cries or gestures the nature of his wants, in order that others may satisfy them. As he grows older however, he has to learn to fulfil an ever increasing number of these wants himself—to feed, to wash, to clothe himself and to satisfy his other bodily needs, to walk abroad without the protection and guidance of his elders, and generally to attain his desires by his own efforts rather than to wait for the attentions of others. To keep pace with the ever growing wants and desires of the individual, a continuous output of energy is required, and it will sometimes happen that the motive force immediately available (the strength of the conation) is not sufficient to overcome the obstacles which prevent the fulfilment of a want. When this is the case, the individual may react in a variety of ways. If the conation is a relatively weak one, he may abandon his attempts to attain the desired end, at least in its original form; or he may content himself with an imaginary fulfilment of his desire. If the conation is sufficiently strong, however, it may continue to manifest itself in different ways; if the first means of approach is unsuccessful, other means will be tried, until the end is eventually attained. Of these other means, one that is frequently among the most effectual is to call in the assistance of others. Especially is this the case in infancy when many feats that are difficult or impossible to the child are easily performed by its parents or other adult persons, and when such persons (especially the parents) often take a delight in assisting the child in this way. That the child should receive such assistance is natural and inevitable at a certain stage of development, but it is easy to see that help thus given may constitute a source of danger to the child's development, if it is granted not only in cases of real difficulty (having regard to the child's age and capabilities) but in cases where, by the expenditure of a little additional effort, the child could attain his end unaided. If assistance is given indiscriminately the child may acquire the habit of relying upon the help of others whenever any difficulty arises; and this habit may persist throughout life, rendering the individual a relatively useless and helpless member of society, incapable of any prolonged or intensive effort[30]. Normal development, however, implies that the occasions on which assistance is required should grow fewer and fewer as ability and experience increase, so that the adult should finally be able to transact the ordinary business of life and to maintain himself, entirely by his own efforts, except of course in unusual or exceptionally difficult circumstances, or where the economic principle of the division of labour makes it desirable to call in the assistance of other persons possessing ability or training of a different nature to his own.
The other main aspect of the principle of development Self-determination that we are considering, is concerned with the matter of self-guidance rather than with that of self-help. In this respect also, normal development implies a change from dependence upon others to dependence upon self. In infancy a very great part of the individual's mode of life is determined by others, and especially by his parents. Just as he is dependent upon the efforts of his parents for the necessaries of life, so is he also dependent upon their decision as to how and when he shall enjoy these necessaries. He feeds, walks, sleeps, works and plays very largely according to their pleasure. At most the nature of his play activities is left to his own discretion. Later on during the school period the authority of the parents is to some extent exchanged for that of his teachers, but it is not till a comparatively late stage of development that an individual is allowed to dispose of the bulk of his time as he himself thinks fit.