[211] "Die Couvade und die Psychogenese der Vergeltungsfurcht." Imago, 1914, III.
[212] As an example of an attitude obviously akin to one of the main tendencies underlying the Couvade—a desire to inflict pain upon the mother—we may mention the strong objection that was originally taken to the use of anaesthetics in midwifery, on the ground that the suffering of pain in childbirth was a just punishment for sin and that it was therefore ethically undesirable to seek to do away with or abate this pain.
[213] For these reasons it would seem very undesirable to tamper to any appreciable extent with the motives that may impel a man to work for the advantage of his immediate posterity; as would be done for instance, by any prohibition to transmit property to heirs, or by any measure that too greatly diminished the value of such property, such as an excessive death duty.
What seems to be to some extent the American ideal of each generation "making good" in their own persons, is of course based mainly on perfectly sound ethical and psychological considerations. There is nothing in these considerations however which is incompatible with the hereditary transmission of wealth or rank. On the contrary, it would seem to be an ennobling and inspiring ideal for each generation to start life at a somewhat higher all-round level—material and moral—than the one before it, each one adding a little to the well-being of the family in body and mind and handing on the improvement to its successor.
In spite of the great advantages that may thus follow from the identification of the parent with his children, it behoves us not to overlook one possible danger that may ensue from it, if carried to excess. An individual's actions affect posterity, not only in the persons of his own offspring, but also by their influence on the history of humanity at large; and it would be highly undesirable if, while contemplating the benefit of his own family, an individual ceased to bear in mind his duties to the wider circles of his social environment. The deeds of great men obviously determine to a considerable extent the future of the race. It is however the privilege of all of us to contribute to this history to some degree; hence an enlightened morality must needs emphasise the responsibility that is incurred in this respect even by the humblest, since, by his actions during life, he has to some extent made himself immortal, and influenced the world through all time for good or ill.
[214] It may be well to bear in mind in this connection Mr. Bernard Shaw's striking words from his brilliant essay on Parents and Children (the whole of which deserves most careful reading). On the subject of marriage from the point of view of the parents, he writes with his usual penetration and with a generous understanding of the real difficulties of the situation:—"Take a very common instance of this agonizing incompatibility" (between the point of view of parents and that of the children). "A widow brings up her son to manhood. He meets a strange woman, goes off with and marries her, leaving his mother desolate. It does not occur to him that this is at all hard on her; he does it as a matter of course, and actually expects his mother to receive on terms of special affection, the woman for whom she has been abandoned. If he shewed any sense of what he was doing, any remorse; if he mingled his tears with hers, and asked her not to think too hardly of him because he had obeyed the inevitable destiny of a man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, she could give him her blessing and accept her bereavement with dignity and without reproach. But the man never dreams of such considerations. To him his mother's feeling in the matter, when she betrays it, is unreasonable, ridiculous and even odious, as shewing a prejudice against his adorable bride.
"I have taken the widow as an extreme and obvious case; but there are many husbands and wives who are tired of their consorts, or disappointed in them, or estranged from them by infidelities; and these parents, in losing a son or a daughter through marriage, may be losing everything they care for. No parent's love is as innocent as the love of a child; the exclusion of all conscious sexual feeling from it does not exclude the bitterness, jealousy, and despair at loss which characterize sexual passion; in fact, what is called a pure love may easily be more selfish and jealous than a carnal one. Anyhow, it is plain matter of fact that naively selfish people sometimes try with fierce jealousy to prevent their children marrying." p. XXXVIII.
[215] Cp. Jung, "Collected Papers on Analytical Psychology," 156 ff. On the other hand in cases where, as in those we considered above, the parent identifies himself with his children, he is very likely to experience a strong attachment to the marital partners of his children.
[216] Though we ought possibly to make an exception here in the case of that fear which seems to arise as the result of a transformation of sexual impulses. On the other hand, it is possible that this too may be brought under the more general formula, if we recognise that the fear is in this case directed not to some outer object but to some threatening element within the mind. For a discussion of this matter see Freud, "Vorlesungen zur Einführung in die Psychoanalyse," 466 ff. For a most important discussion of the fundamental nature and conditions of love and hate and of the different causes from which they originate, see Freud, "Sammlung kleiner Schriften zur Neurosenlehre," IV, 270 ff.
[217] W. Wundt, "Elements of Folk Psychology," trans. by E. L. Schaub, 1916, 116 ff.