The principal girl

by J. C. Snaith

Would the Candidate be good enough to enlighten the Committee as to the nature of his views upon the subject of Free Trade?

Sir, I shall be most happy, said the Candidate, smiling graciously. Gentlemen, my views on the subject of Free Trade are those of Mr. Balsquith, and it is a matter upon which I trust his judgment implicitly.

The Committee was much gratified by this statesmanlike reply.

And the question of the House of Lords? said Alderman Slocock. The Committee would be happy to have the Candidate’s views upon that vexed subject.

The views of the Candidate in respect of the House of Lords were those of Mr. Balsquith; that also was a subject upon which he trusted Mr. Balsquith’s judgment implicitly.

This answer was equally successful; and as it did duty for all the questions that followed, the Candidate was guilty of nothing that was likely to efface the highly favorable effect he had already created. Therefore he was able to return to the best hotel in Blackhampton reasonably secure in the conviction that he was about to be chosen as the official representative of the Rags.

Of course he would be, he was promptly informed by Mary, who was sitting up for him, if he had remembered his words.

“Fact is, old girl,” confided Mr. Philip, “I knew I’d got ’em fixed up before I’d got half through my bally speech.”

“Why, of course, Phil-ipp, you were bound to have.”

And she was far too good a sportswoman to remind the vainglorious orator that it was not his speech at all. But don’t let us praise her too much. For the simple fact was that it pleased her mightily to think that it really was his speech that had carried the day, and that she had nothing whatever to do with it. Moreover, she was perfectly willing for him to believe that it was his speech; and certainly, so high had success lifted her lord just now that it didn’t really seem very difficult for him to do so. And for our own poor part, we have never been able to determine which phenomenon is the more curious: whether Man should plume himself beyond his deserts at the expense of Woman or whether Woman should derive a keen pleasure from aiding and abetting him in the deception.