All Rights Reserved

CONTENTS

CHAPTER PAGE
I A GREAT PROCONSUL; AND OTHER PHENOMENA[1]
II TOUCHES UPON A MATTER OF GRAVE
PUBLIC IMPORTANCE
[7]
III IS DOMESTIC IN THE MAIN, BUT WE
HOPE NOT UNWORTHY OF A GREAT
CONSTITUTIONAL STATESMAN
[12]
IV IN WHICH THE GENTLE READER HAS
THE HONOR OF AN INTRODUCTION TO
THE SEVENTH UNMARRIED DAUGHTER
OF NOT QUITE A HUNDRED EARLS
[18]
V IN WHICH THE GENTLE READER IS
TAKEN TO THE PANTOMIME IN THE
COMPANY OF MARGE AND TIMOTHY
AND ALICE CLARA AND DICK AND THE
BABE AND HELEN AND LUCY NANNA,
AND WE HOPE YOU’LL ENJOY IT AS
MUCH AS THEY DID
[27]
VI IN WHICH WE DINE OUT IN GROSVENOR
SQUARE
[47]
VII IN WHICH WE DRINK TEA AGAIN AT THE
CARLTON
[62]
VIII IN WHICH WE MAKE THE ACQUAINTANCE
OF THE GODDAUGHTER OF EDWARD
BEAN
[77]
IX A LITTLE LUNCH AT DIEUDONNÉ’S[83]
X AFFAIRS OF STATE[100]
XI LICENTIOUS BEHAVIOR OF THE GREEN
CHARTREUSE
[108]
XII THE PROCONSULAR TOUCH[115]
XIII JANE’S AFTERNOON OUT[121]
XIV IN WHICH MARY QUALIFIES FOR THE
RÔLE OF THE BAD GIRL OF THE FAMILY
[132]
XV IN WHICH WE SIT AT THE FEET OF
GAMALIEL
[152]
XVI IN WHICH THE MOUNTAIN COMES TO
MAHOMET
[157]
XVII IN WHICH WE ARE TAKEN TO VIEW A
LITTLE FLAT IN KNIGHTSBRIDGE
[166]
XVIII IN WHICH THE CONSEQUENCES ARE
DAMNED WITH NO UNCERTAINTY
[174]
XIX A GREAT OCCASION[184]
XX LOVE’S YOUNG DREAM [191]
XXI ADVENTURES RARE AND STRANGE[199]
XXII IN WHICH PHILIP RENEWS HIS YOUTH[210]
XXIII IN WHICH GRANDMAMMA RENEWS HERS[226]
XXIV IS OF A POLITICAL NATURE[239]
XXV IS VICTORIAN IN THE BEST SENSE[259]
XXVI A CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS[268]
XXVII ANOTHER TRIUMPH FOR FREE TRADE[290]
XXVIII THE END OF THE TALE[300]

THE PRINCIPAL GIRL

CHAPTER I
A GREAT PROCONSUL; AND OTHER PHENOMENA

The great Proconsul stood on one of Messrs. Maple’s best hearthrugs in Grosvenor Square. A typical payer of the super-tax, a pink and prosperous gentleman in a morning coat and striped trousers, his appearance had long commanded the admiration of his country.

He had not ruled the teeming millions of the Ganges, although the strength of his digestion and his absence of imagination would at any time have enabled him to do so. But for a period of nine weeks he had been the Resident of Barataria North-West; and partly for that reason and partly for a reason even more cogent, he had the distinction of being the last peer created by Mr. Vandeleur’s last government.

The world is familiar with Sir William Richmond’s fine portrait of Walter Augustus, first Baron Shelmerdine of Potterhanworth now, on loan at the National Portrait Gallery. In this the national asset appears as he encountered his Sovereign in knee breeches, silk stockings, shoe buckles and other regalia.

Competent judges consider it an excellent likeness, and of course quite unexceptionable as a work of art. It is the portrait of a happily endowed Englishman in his manly prime, to which the nation at large is able to refer between the hours of ten and four, Fridays excepted.