It was with the utmost difficulty that I could hold back at this challenge. I might be very drunk, and therefore doubly disposed to resent such wanton insults; but I was also sober enough to be aware that they were not prompted by ill-nature. It was a piece of mischief merely. We were entirely at his mercy, and he proposed to torment us to death. Could a fourth person have witnessed this play, he would have found it a truly diverting affair. First Cynthia was made to writhe, and then I; and then both of us together; yet at the same time each quite unknown to the other; whilst the audacious rogue of a fellow mocked at us both, and defied us to prevent ourselves being made ridiculous. The unfortunate Cynthia was led on by his disparagement of me to take up the cudgels warmly on my behalf. The sly look of satisfaction that shone in him when she did so, was proof enough, if any were needed, that she was still ministering to his diversion.
"I give you the lie there, sir," says she angrily. "How dare you presume to malign such a noble brave gentleman! You utter behind his back that which you dare not utter to his face."
"Good a thousand times," says Mr. Fielding. "This is delightful. Harkee, my noble, brave gentleman, and tell me if I do not utter it to your face!"
I clenched my fists; I vowed to myself I would not suffer this impudent sport another minute. But then there was no gainsaying that I was abominably drunk; that my pretty innocent was but a child; and that it was our wedding-day. Come what may, I must bear with the fellow's mad humour for the present, and requite him in a more seasonable hour.
Cynthia might be angry and I extremely discomposed, but Mr. Fielding still pressed his jest.
"No, madam, I will not be put off with your arrogance," says he. "I demand one token from those charming lips as the price of the satisfaction that you seek."
Covered with a modest confusion, Cynthia was preparing to comply with this demand unwillingly enough, when I was no longer able to contain my just resentment. Whatever the consequences, we should not be flouted so. Therefore as the impudent fellow was in the very act of forcing this concession from her, I threw caution to the winds, and sprang forth from my concealment in a violent rage. I aimed a mighty blow at Mr. Fielding's head; but what with my impetuosity, combined with my drunken condition, I miscalculated the distance sadly, and instead of getting home on that audacious person, missed him entirely, and fell full length at Cynthia's feet.
Between her distressed exclamations and Mr. Fielding's immoderate laughter I was got up again, to find myself a little sobered by the fall. With a joyful recognition of me, and a truly withering glance of contempt for Mr. Fielding, neither of which I can positively depict, Cynthia fell into my arms, and showered upon me those salutes Mr. Fielding had been so importunate to obtain. But I must confess that I received them with a great deal more of shame than pleasure; for Mr. Fielding regarded us with such a degree of boisterousness, that the bitter fact suddenly came upon me that in my guilt I had committed her to the tender mercies of a person even more drunk than I was myself.