“Cricket, cricket, and still cricket!”
It was the voice of the Rector, who had come upon us unobserved.
“Mornin’, Father,” said his daughter. “All serene this morning? You were reading Livy rather late last night, weren’t you? Oh, you literary men, your hours are dreadful!”
“If you are too ironical,” said the Rector, accepting the cheek she so promptly offered him—yes, I mean in both a figurative and a literal sense. I certainly intended no pun, but if one has to deal with the confounded English language, how is one to avoid its pitfalls?—“If you are too ironical,” said the Rector, “I’ll preach a fifty minutes’ sermon to-morrow, Laura.”
As was subsequently explained, this was quite the most effective means of dealing with the misdemeanours of Miss Grace.
CHAPTER XIX
A Case for M.C.C.
CONTRARY to expectation, breakfast was dispatched in sufficiently reasonable time to permit my match with Grace to start about eleven. Needless to say, Grace herself arranged the details. The seven cricketers who were not playing on this occasion, instead of being allowed to act the part of mere lookers-on, received orders to field for both sides. “And, Toddles,” said Grace, in an intimidating tone, “if you drop Dimmy and then take me, I’ll never forgive you.” Her father, to my great uneasiness, was to be installed as scorer, under his usual convenient willow tree; and the notorious Biffin she proposed to nominate as umpire. Acting on the joint advice of Toddles and Archie, I entered a formal protest against Biffin being allowed to stand in this important fixture. This matter, which involved much more than I had suspected, was debated at the breakfast-table.
“Oh,” said Grace, “you’ve nothing against Biffin’s personal character, I hope?”
“Oh, no,” said I; “it’s only that he don’t quite command my confidence, you know.”
“How funny!” said Grace; “’cause I have every confidence in Biffin. He knows the game, his eyesight’s good, his decisions are as prompt as possible, and his judgment’s wonderful. Can’t expect more of an umpire, can you? Of course, he might be better looking, but that’s his misfortune, poor man! Besides, I never think it’s wise to have an umpire who’s too good-looking. One’s liable to watch him, instead of the ball, don’t you see.”