“Just you shut your face, Grace, and pass me a ham sandwich, and let’s have the mustard this way. You’d better drop your rotting, Grace, it really isn’t funny,” said the poor bowler wriggling dismally.
“You’re pretty humorous though,” said his sister cruelly. “If you’ll be good enough to look as funny as that till I find my kodak. I’ll take a snapshot of you. You would send up the circulation of the Windsor Magazine. ‘Eminent cricketer replying to the toast of his health.’ What, ho!”
If a wasp had not settled itself on the dazzling white collar of poor Charlie’s persecutor and demanded extremely discreet conduct on the part of Miss Grace whilst three men gallantly but cautiously arranged its capture and decease, it is possible that the great bowler’s bad time would have continued longer than it did. Miss Grace Trentham, having rather severely handled a famous exponent of the game, turned her attention to one of even greater eminence. Stoddart’s blindness in omitting to ask Charlie to make the trip to Australia was trenchantly reviewed.
“If Stoddy don’t take Charlie,” Miss Grace said with weighty deliberation, “Stoddy’ll be wrong. Charlie’s worth three Jack Hearnes this season, and Mold and Richardson aren’t in it. ’Fact it’s my ’pinion that if Charlie had only got a bit more intellect, and hadn’t such a gift for drinking things, he’d be another Spoff.”
“Go on, Grace, keep at it,” murmured the gentleman in question with a most pathetic air of resignation. “That’s the fizz. Girls and champagne as usual. To watch the fluent way they lip it, you’d think it was only milk. But it gets there just the same. Go on, Grace; let’s hear what else it’s got to say.”
“Charlie, you’re a coarse person,” said his sister. “You had better take your hat off to let the sun expurgate your ideas a bit.”
“Grace,” said the little parson, “you’re a regular Jessop when it comes to hitting. That’s six.”
“Do you believe in dreams, Mr. Dimsdale?” said Miss Grace suddenly.
“Well, I was born in the West country, so I suppose I’m obliged to,” said I.
“Well, I dreamt last night but one,” said she, “that a wire came from town to Charlie, saying, ‘Will you complete team? Name inadvertently omitted. Stoddart.’”