LETTER X.
“And the Lord shall go before thee.”
To —
How dear are the saints to their Lord; and they are dear to us. The memory of some of them is precious, especially those who have been useful to our souls. The remembrance of our late pastor, Mr. Burnham, will ever be dear to our hearts; it was under his ministry we first met, and with him we hope to spend a blessed eternity, through the grace of our dear Lord. The reasons for my first joining the church, under that good man’s ministry, were this; Mr. Keeble refused baptism to me, because it was disorderly to baptize a preacher without first becoming a member of that church, and being called out by that church; and having occasionally heard Mr. B. I waited on him, and related the whole business, as in my last letter. Mr. B. was as zealous for strict order as Mr. K. but with this difference, that although I might still exercise in the sacred work constantly, yet, till I had passed the regular orders, I should not have the sanction and approbation of the church. This sanction I doubtless considered important; and as I was privileged still to go on in the ministry, my mind was at ease on that subject. After conversation and prayer with Mr. B. I was proposed as member to the church. I attended, gave an account of the Lord’s dealings with me, was strictly examined by Mr. B. as to soul matters, my motives and views in joining the church, and going on in the ministry; and being satisfied himself, and the church likewise, the day was appointed for the ordinance of Baptism to be administered, I spoke, as usual, on the same Lord’s-day morning, and previous to the Baptism, chose that fine passage, 90th Psalm, “And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us.” In the forenoon Mr. B. preached on, “For by one spirit are we all baptized into one body.” It was an excellent sermon. When I came to the water, I was permitted to address the audience, in which I gave my views of the ordinance, and my motives for thus obeying the command. You remember the time, the place, and the circumstances. I was just 28 years of age, and had been above three years in the public ministry. The Lord, I hope, was with us. On the following Lord’s Day, I was admitted to the Lord’s Supper with the brethren who were baptized with me—and shortly after this, I had the painful task to signify to the church my wish to have my talents tried before them, previous to their sanctioning my going out as a preacher. I knew I had the Lord’s approbation; at least, when in a good frame of mind I both saw it and felt it; but if I had the church’s likewise, I should of course be well pleased. Every Tuesday evening was appointed for that purpose. The church met, and the first time I was to choose my own subject, which was John, xvi. 14. This met with general approbation. The next Tuesday the minister was to appoint the text, which he did, Rom. viii. 16. This was not so much to his mind, though he approved of the truths I uttered. The last time was by the church’s request, Rom. viii. 29, 30. These were all approved of, but none like the first. It was then proposed to the church, whether they considered me as called and qualified for the ministry; which was carried without a dissenting voice. Our pastor then gave me a most solemn charge on the subject, and I believe he acted as became a Christian, a gospel minister, and a circumspect man. I felt some sacred pleasure in this approbation, and went forth teaching and preaching. The Lord was with me most sensibly, and many souls were edified, comforted, and built up on their most holy faith. The Scriptures were opened to them, and God gave them light, life, love and liberty. This I have frequently been informed of, from various quarters. I was exceedingly partial to village preaching, and have many times regretted ever leaving it, to be settled over any people; but the Lord had ordained it otherwise before I had an existence: for He worketh all things after the counsel of his own will, and you and I know He is too wise to be mistaken.
God bless and shine upon you; and remember, they that turn many to Christ, shall shine as the stars in the firmament of heaven for ever.
Yours, J. C.
LETTER XI.
“And I will direct their work in truth.”
To —
I think the first time the Lord led you under my poor feeble ministry, was at Lant-street, Borough. I think it necessary to inform you of the leadings of Divine Providence in that business. While a member of the church at Grafton-street, under the ministry of Mr. B. yet continually preaching, I became acquainted with a good man, a minister of the gospel, who had received an invitation to preach at Lant-street, but being engaged elsewhere, he requested I would go in his stead, to which I consented, without asking my pastor’s opinion, or the opinion of any other discreet man: here began my popularity, and here, alas! began my misery also. I went, and soon strutted into the pulpit with long robes, in which, at first, I felt very awkward, but it exactly met the native vanity of my heart: the chapel had been sadly deserted before, but I being a stranger, the place was crowded. After I had preached a few times here, I continued morning and evening for some time. No one in the Borough knew me, and it was so much the better in one sense, though not in another; for, preaching the early lecture at Mr. B’s. then coming into the Borough, preaching again, destitute of a shilling, and acquainted with no one in the neighbourhood, I was obliged to walk, perhaps in the afternoon, to Redcross-street, in the City, and back to Lant-street, to preach my fourth sermon for the day; yet, no one invited me to partake a dinner with them for some weeks; this made me faint and weary, till my circumstances were better known, and then I found the people in the Borough, and St. George’s Fields, the most generous and friendly I ever met with in my travels; but I must make you smile. A good man, who is an excellent preacher now, and who has long known me, one day, about this time of my preaching at Lant-street, said to me, “C. I think you play the hypocrite the best I ever knew one in my life.” This startled me at first, till he explained himself thus: “I was hearing you at Lant-street, last Sunday, and saw you dressed in your full robes, and yet I knew you had not a shoe to your feet, and in the most indigent circumstances.” I only replied, that I thought being poor, and seeming so, was of no use to me. Mr. G. returned from his travels, so that my services were then wanted no more there. Mr. G. did not know me at that time. I knew him, having heard him once only, some years before I was in the ministry; but, hearing much of me, he sent for me, to preach, one Lord’s-day evening. The gentleman alluded to in the beginning of this letter, was asked for some one to go into Oxfordshire; his mind ran directly to me, and he advised me to go there; and, as usual, I soon gave my consent, and went down to the place, the day before Christmas Day: the journey was long, but I arrived safe, was cordially received, and preached there on the Christmas Day; I was well received, and abode a month; the people and the managers treated me with every mark of affection, and I returned to London, loaded with their kindness. Never having experienced such treatment before, and meeting with some experimental Christians, and many who loved the truth, the people became very dear to me; it was shortly proposed to me to settle with them, and I gave my consent. Here I acted just as self willed as I had done before, and advised with no godly minister, or experienced people upon the subject. It is the wisdom of the wise to understand his way, but, alas! I did not; which I see the folly of now it is too late to mend, but the Lord has borne long with my manners in the wilderness.