“He calleth to me out of Seir, Watchman, what of the night? The morning cometh, and also the night.”
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I think there are very few serious troubles befal us, but God is pleased to give us some intimation of their approach; so I have frequently found it, either by uncommon joys or remarkable impressions, and very often by dreams, and these repeatedly. I know this last idea will expose me again to the contempt of heedless characters; but it is written—“God speaketh once, yea twice, though man perceiveth it not.” However, many have found it too true. God spoke so to Joseph, to the butler, and baker, in prison; to Pharaoh, and to many others of old, and I am fully persuaded he speaks to us. Not that dreams have any thing to do with salvation business; although I am fully persuaded that the Lord has often first imprest many of his people with awful dreams, which have led them to a serious concern about their souls; and no doubt given them warning of approaching troubles: so I found it. I dreamed, one night, that a vast number of young scorpions, or small serpents, were crawling about the floor of the chapel; this at first alarmed me, but by my feet I crushed all but two, which fled to the very seat which was occupied by ******* and another. These I could not destroy, which left a painful sensation on my mind. When I awoke, I knew, at least I judged, some calamity was approaching; nor was I deceived. A gentlewoman soon after called upon me—she appeared very dejected; I enquired the cause, when she informed me she was sure some direful trial would shortly befal me. I asked why she thought so? Only from the repetition of her dream—which was, that she saw a cat, while I was in the pulpit, clasp me round the neck, and salute me; but, as she departed, she tore my neck and throat in so awful a manner that all were frightened who saw it. I told her it was but a dream; but she said she was sure it was of God, as the sad event proved. Shortly after this, I was invited to sleep at a friend’s house, which I did; but the second night, being indisposed, and having to meet the committee after service, the hour being late, I was advised and pressed not to go there; yet I knew I was expected, and being entreated, I complied. On my road a most unaccountable sensation seized me, and, as though a hand touched me, a voice, at the same time, seemed to say, “Do not go to-night.” I made an apology to the party I was with, by saying I would see them to the door, and then return home; but nothing would avail. O that I had followed the impressions. Shortly after this night, I heard a strange rumour, which produced a great deal of uneasiness. Evil reports were circulating; but, as if some strange infatuation had seized me, I took little notice of it, yet I thought it strange. These words came to me: “Agree with thine adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him, lest at any time he deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.” Yet I was conscious I had done nothing worthy of death or of bonds, so that I was still inflexible. Many gossips, through the rumour, continually plagued the party, which did me infinite injury. Several gentlemen from the chapel waited on him, to whom he read a deposition, which contained nothing criminal in my conduct; and, having gained this satisfaction, the matter rested where it was for nine or ten weeks. The gloomy month of November arrived, which brought my old adversary to town; and soon after a friend called on me, and gave me the painful information that he had seen the above party, with my accuser, at the Public Hall, and being informed it was concerning me, he thought it right to apprize me of it.
This was the severest blow I ever felt in my life. I immediately procured counsel; and, without being seat for, appeared. The statement was made, an assault was declared, bail was put in, and it was bound over to quarter sessions. This was soon spread. Now a shower of papers, placards, and pamphlets came pouring over me; the congregation thrown into trouble; my family in the deepest distress of mind, and my feelings racked beyond description—while thousands rejoiced in the day of our calamity. But it is written—“He that is glad at calamity shall smart for it.” Mark this. I must remind you also of the lamentation of the church.—1 Lament. 21: “They have heard that I sigh, all mine enemies have heard of my trouble, they are glad that thou hast done it; thou wilt bring the day that thou hast called, and they shall be like unto me.” How did the Phillistines now rejoice, supposing that the ark was taken, but the joy of the hypocrite is but for a moment. Great troubles were in the church, and “for the division of Reuben there were great searchings of heart,” but those who were at ease in Zion were not grieved for the afflictions of Joseph.”—Amos, vii. Many paltry scribblers issued forth their rubbish like insects from the mud of Nile; and I was the song of the drunkards.
But I cannot here forget the goodness of God, who helped me in the day of trouble. I constantly preached and administered the ordinances. The Lord kept all peaceable without and within; thousands looked on and wondered, as they do to this day. To add to my calamity, I entrusted my affairs to a very injudicious old lawyer, who, to answer his sordid purposes, advised me to carry this cause to a higher court: this was only adding affliction to my bonds. I knew but little about courts of law, so that I was led, hoodwinked, into this business.
One year and three months rolled away in this trouble. During this time I wrote a letter to a friend, who carried it to my opposers, and although couched in the most friendly terms respecting themselves, yet they had the cruelty to bring forth that letter to my hurt, another day. This was devilish, indeed: the learned judge mistaking the religious sense of the letter, supposed that I meant it as a contempt of the just laws of the country—God forbid. No, no; it was a private letter to a friend, in which I meant, that any injury done to a child of God, maliciously, [124] would one day be resented. But this was not treating the laws of the country with contempt. I ever maintained, that if the holiest Christian upon earth has violated the laws of his land, he has a just right to endure the penalty.—Never, surely, did a poor creature suffer so much in mind, with any outward calamity, as I did. And what for? Some cried one thing, some another. About this time I changed my situation: many advised me to leave the country; and, as I was placed in circumstances, I could have paid my bail, and lived comfortably in another land. But why should I flee? In this circumstance I asked advice of the Lord, who graciously answered me—“Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.” On God’s Word I relied, and found him faithful.
Yours, J. C.
LETTER XXV.
“Their adversaries said, we offend not, because they have sinned against the Lord.”—Jer. l. 7.
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