“The more I strove against sin’s power,
I sinned and stumbled yet the more.”
I found my strength perfect weakness; and sin, guilt, and satan, too strong for human ability. I had many temptations to disbelieve the Bible, to doubt the very being of a God, and to entertain very hard thoughts of him. I felt my rebellion rise, and found I was an enemy in my nature and practice. These things troubled my spirit; yet the preaching of the Word, at times, sweetly encouraged me to hope. I endeavoured to subdue sin, by various stratagems, but I found it was all toiling up Labour-in-vain Hill; and being beat out of every refuge, sinking in the miry clay; and finding the horrible pit, in some degree, but not so deep as many have, I longed to be brought to a point about my state; to see my sins pardoned; my interest clear; God reconciled and well pleased with me, in Christ. I was, indeed, come to the birth, but had not yet strength to bring forth. Yet none shall shut their doors, or kindle a fire on God’s altar for nought. Those whom he chastens he will give rest to; and those who seek him shall find him, sooner or later. “For the needy shall not always be forgotten; the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever.”
Yours, J. C.
These sweet lines were whispered to my soul with joy:—
“The vision is for an appointed time; though it tarry, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not tarry.” For,
“The time of love will come,
When thou shalt clearly see,
Not only that he shed his blood.
But that it flow’d for thee.”“For the children are come to the birth, but they have not strength to bring forth.”
“Shall I cause to travail, and not cause to bring forth? saith thy God.”
I hope you are so well versed in Scripture that you know where these precious texts lay, without my directing you.
LETTER V.
“Thou hast manifested thy name to the men thou gavest me out of the world.”
To —
What the Holy Spirit has declared in his Word, all the Lord’s children find most blessed; the Lord is good to them that wait for him; to the soul that seeketh him. I have often found it very blessed to wait for the Lord; in waiting on him. And this verse of Good Mr. Toplady’s was sweet to my soul:—