“After I had been in this furnace some weeks, in which I felt as others do in similar cases, much grief, anger, rebellion, and discontent, but not quite without a spirit of prayer that I might be favored with the very gracious visits of the Saviour, and a sense of God’s approbation in my own soul, though despised by others, I entreated the Lord to shew me the exceeding sinfulness of sin, as well as I could bear it; for I am convinced no man could ever behold sin in all its malignity—none but the God-Man could bear that—yet I desired to see sin as most abominable in God’s sight. These petitions were in time answered; the Lord led me to reflect deeply, in my retired moments, on the nature of sin, original and actual.—This knowledge of it increased, till one evening, being alone, I was most completely overpowered with a solemn stillness of spirit, a view of sin, my own sins of heart, lip, and life; these crowded into my mind. I felt guilty. I stood condemned. I had a fearful apprehension of God’s just displeasure; all was dark within, except sin and the anger of God—these were clear enough; horror overwhelmed me, and I sunk low at the footstool of divine mercy; I feared, I trembled, I was brought low, I was troubled. I saw nothing of a Saviour, though I had so often preached about him. Head notions were nothing now—past experience was hid, and every gracious promise of the Bible was closed up for a time. What a state to be in! But I believe this was drinking of the bitter cup our Saviour drank so deeply; this was, in one sense, being crucified with Christ, and having fellowship with him in his sufferings. These feelings will give a man a real understanding of all those texts which refer to soul trouble, in the book of Job, the Psalms of David, feelings of Jeremiah, and, perhaps, what Paul felt during the three days he was without sight, and did neither eat nor drink. These feelings will make me sympathise with the soul that is afflicted, and experiences the terrors of the Almighty.
But I do esteem it among my many special favors, this did not continue but part of a night. I sunk down in shame and distress, condemning myself, and acknowledging the justice of God in my condemnation. But while in this state, thus broken, contrite, and filled with holy awe, I was kept pleading for mercy—present mercy as well as future. While on my knees prostrate, as Elijah on another occasion, or, as Jeremiah words it—putting my mouth in the dust;—and although I really was filled with fear lest I should be cut off, yet at this very time the Lord gently led my mind, or rather brought the following words very softly to my heart: they were at first seemingly at a distance, but drew nearer as I listened and observed them. The words were, ‘I have caused thine iniquities to pass from thee, and have clothed thee with change of raiment.’ I observed my mind could not gladly receive this sentence, fearing presumption—but they still followed me, and abode with me, till the horror, terror, fears, and darkness gradually dispersed, and my mind was enabled so far to receive them as to cause a present ease, which continued with me a few days longer. I found the peace they brought with them continue, and I was in a small degree helped to believe they were from God to me, and as much mine as they were Joshua’s, to whom they were spoken; but though my thoughts were in a measure fixed upon them, yet I was not without being assaulted with some misgivings of heart. I concluded it best to entreat the Lord to shew me this more powerfully, and not only to put the words in my mind, but to write them so effectually that I might know, without the shadow of a doubt, I was actually interested in the capital blessings the words contained. This was most divinely manifested in a few days afterwards, as I was in the act of reading some remarks of the truly excellent Mr. Toplady, on Justification by the imputed Righteousness of the adorable God-Man. I was actually overcome with a sweet surprise of the love of God to me in Christ Jesus, making his dear Son a sin offering, and his people righteousness in him. I was enabled to feel such solid peace, holy joy, and sacred pleasure in my soul as can never be described by tongue or pen. I was melted by the power of his love, and indulged with such access to God, that every doubt, fear, and misgiving of heart, was removed. I saw, I knew, I felt that I was reconciled to God, and that God was my Father, my Saviour, my Comforter.—Oh, that I had then sunk into the arms of death! O that I had been permitted to take my flight! At that time the Saviour had engaged my heart, nor could I then have sinned against him for the world. I want many such sweet manifestations of his sensible presence; and I can assure you, painful as my situation is, I would gladly endure it again for such enjoyments. But I must observe, these blessed seasons are unknown to carnal professors, and never enjoyed, even by the favorites of heaven, while in a light, careless, carnal frame of soul; no—the promise runs thus, ‘To this man will I look, (and surely it was a look of love which I experienced) and with him will I dwell, who is poor and of a contrite heart, and that trembles at my word.’”
After this most blessed manifestation, the Lord gradually opened my mind, gave me a discerning eye to discover and receive the Bible testimony of the Lord Jesus, accompanied with a fixation of soul and a stayedness upon him. I now no longer depend upon past experience, but am pressing forward to know the person and glory of Christ, as the expression of the Father’s love; the covenant transactions of the adorable Trinity; the union subsisting between Christ and my soul, founded on his union with my nature, and his union with the Father; the great act of his incarnation; the holiness of his nature, and his wonderful life, as the obedience and righteousness of his church; the putting away sin by the sacrifice of himself, and the virtue, glory, and dignity of that precious work; his triumphant resurrection, for his dear people, and glorious ascension; his life of intercession in heaven, and his carrying on the work of salvation as an advocate with the Father; this is the grand object I am aiming to grow into the knowledge of, that I may live a life of faith upon him, enjoy communion with him, and live to his glory; that I may make manifest the savour of his name in every place, not only in the pulpit, but in every other place and company where I can. Knowing the evil of sin, the weakness of the creature, and the value of Christ, I want daily to die to self, and live to him; to go out of self, as sinful, moral, or gracious, and by looking to Jesus in the Word, I may enjoy peace in believing; thus to live to his honour, and to be useful to his people, to die in his smiles, and to be with him for ever; to behold his glory, being found in him, having no other robe but that which he has wrought out, nor any other increased glory, but the work of his own spirit. This is all my salvation, and all my desire for my own soul, and for the whole of God’s family the Lord calls me to labour among.
Yours, J. C.
LETTER VII.
“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
To —
The excellent Dr. Hawker remarks, in his “Gleaner,” “It would be well if every child of God would form one memorandum, at least, in his mind, which no passing event could obliterate; namely, that the Lord’s eye is over the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers.” The Lord revealed himself to the patriarch, Jacob, as the God of his Fathers, in an everlasting covenant, and with this precious addition—“And behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again to this land; for I will not leave thee until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.”—Gen. xxviii. to the end.
The reader of Jacob’s history, in the Bible, will know, that many a dark providence beset Jacob after this, and numberless sharp exercises, but the promise never failed. It has been, and still is, the Lord’s delight to manifest his care for his this people in a way of providence, before and after their conversion; a being enabled to trace some of those gracious manifestations, and to be assured that the chequered inditings of providence are written with the finger of love, will most blessedly bow our necks to the yoke, and produce our resignation to his sovereign will.—The whole Bible is an exhibition of what the Lord is to his people, and what he has done for them in grace and providence; and what is providence, but the hand of Divine Faithfulness, making good his precious promises? The word providence is never but once used in the Bible, that I remember, and that is in the flattering speech of Tertullus, Acts, xxiv, 2. And what is providence, but the Creator of all things, making provision for all his creatures? As the God of providence, he is the Saviour of all men—the preserver—but especially of them which believe; this was an article in Abraham’s faith—he called the name of that place Jehovah, Jireh, God will provide. It is our mercy to be enabled to watch his hand in our personal concerns—and those who regard not the work of the Lord, he will destroy them.
The proud hearts of the carnal wicked world, in general, ascribe their mercies to fortune, luck, and chance—the trinity of fools; and such pour sovereign contempt on that Providence which ordereth all things in heaven and on earth; but whoso is wise will observe these things, and he shall understand the kindness of the Lord. Hence the saying of the wise—“Whoso eyeth the providence of the Lord shall never want a providence to watch.” This has been true in the experience, more or less, of all the Lord’s tried people, who have waded through much tribulation, and arrived safe at home: and this is the present experience of the Lord’s people upon earth; it is a part of their life of faith, and often produces prayer and praise, watchfulness, and gratitude—so I have found it, almost through the whole course of my life. Amongst thousands of circumstances I have read of the Lord’s gracious dealings with his people, in providence, I remember one, in particular, in the case of Mr. Fox, who wrote the Book of Martyrs, in the close of the reign of Henry the Eighth;—that he went to London, where the want of employment soon reduced his pocket to emptiness, and every source of maintenance failed: in this situation, as he sat one day in St. Paul’s church, spent with long fasting, his countenance thin, his eyes hollow, and with the ghostly appearance of a dying man, every one seemed to shun him with horror; there came one to him whom he had never seen before, and thrust into his hand an untold sum of money, bidding him to be of good cheer, and accept that small gift in good part; adding, that in a few days new hopes were at hand, and a more certain condition of livelihood; and sure enough it came to pass—for, within three days after, the Duchess of Richmond sent for him, to live in her house, and to become the tutor of the Earl of Surrey’s children, then under her care. Thus, as the German proverb says,—“When the bricks are doubled, then comes Moses;”—that is, man’s greatest extremity is God’s opportunity.
The best treatise I ever read on Divine Providence is the excellent Flavell’s “Mystery of the Divine Conduct:” and the most remarkable accounts of the appearance of Providence, next to the Bible, is in Professor Frank’s account of the building of the orphan-house at Glauca, which astonished the King of Prussia, so that he desired the whole account of it. I wish every Christian was in possession of it.—The account of the life of Mr. Barry, as re-published by Mr. Huntington, is very interesting; so also is that gentleman’s “Bank of Faith:” it has encouraged many of the Lord’s people to trust in the Saviour; and they have proved him to be “The faithful God.” Infidels who are white-washed with a profession of religion, have made that book the subject of their sport, banter, and ridicule; but it is a simple correct statement of facts; and my readers, if taught of God, can probably give their testimony, likewise, to similar facts—“For the hand of the Lord shall be known towards his servant.” Foote, in his play of “The Minor,” ridiculed this subject of Providence in a most scurrilous manner, wherein that revered character, the rev. George Whitfield, under the assumed name of Dr. Squintum, is made to pervert and abuse Divine Providence, in the following doggerel lines:—