My dear Friend, Mrs. M.
I trust you are as well in mind and body as you expect to be in a time state. I have cause to bless God for all I have experienced, even for the bitter path of sorrow. But I have had much of the Lord’s goodness pass before me, and he has manifested his dear name to me, as the Lord, the Lord God, gracious and merciful, abundant in goodness, in mercy, and truth; and though he can by no means (of a sinner’s devising) clear the guilty, yet he has devised a plan, in infinite wisdom, whereby he can be just, and yet the justifier of the ungodly. And it is our mercy that we are brought from all confidence in the flesh, while a daily acquaintance with the depravity of our hearts, keeps us from trusting in self; the troubles of life keep us from making up our happiness in the world, and the hypocrisy of professors, with the weakness of God’s own children, keeps us from looking to, and idolizing the creature; thus we tread the same path which the pious prophet Micah did, when he wrote his seventh chapter, and came to this blessed conclusion, Therefore will I look to the Lord: this is all that the blessed spirit aims at in bringing us low in soul, in the church, and in the world. My time flies fast; I dread to enter into the field of battle again. I am weaker in myself than ever I was, but perhaps the power of Christ will the more sensibly rest upon me. I hope to return with the olive branch of peace, while our adorable Noah opens the window, and puts forth his hand to receive me into the ark. I should like to come to the Lord’s family loaded; I know they are a needy people, and the Lord has provided many things for them: he keeps a good table, though the family have not always an appetite to enjoy the rich provisions of his house; but the ever-kind householder has provisions suited to every one. I hope, therefore, to bring with me a little of the sincere milk of the word, for the children, that they may grow thereby, and some solid meat for those who are strong: the fatted calf, the roasted paschal lamb, without a bitten herb; an olive berry, from the uppermost bough; three loaves, also some unleavened bread, and a cake, baked under the tree. Some butter and neat honey from the rock, with the honey comb. Some broiled fish, also out of the sea of Tiberias; and as we may want a desert also, I hope to bring some apples, some nuts, and almonds; a bunch of figs, to take inwardly, or to make a plaister of, to lay on some sore place. Some good grapes of Eshcol, and pomegranates, and mandrakes; also a bottle of new wine, well refined. Some rock water, clear as chrystal, from the well of Bethlehem; this will be very cheering to some of the family. I hope also to bring some very beautiful flowers; a lovely rose, without a thorn; a remarkable lily, in full bloom, which grows in certain vallies, and many other lovely flowers; some only in bud, and some in full blossom: but I have not mentioned one-half the good things in our master’s house. Let these suffice at present. I only want ability to get things ready, and then to call the guests, and to deliver out the various portions, as they are designed: but what do you think? though I am such a poor servitor, yet my master takes the trouble to teach me himself, and I never get scolded, without I act wrong, and am always forgiven, though I am often shut up in the coal cellar, yet not half so often as I deserve. About three years ago I sadly neglected the kitchen, and the setting out the table: I grew very careless, soiled my livery, and mingled even with the very enemies of my master; this was very ungrateful. I lost my place by it, and have been out of place this two years, yet my master is very kind to me; he keeps me all the time I am out of place, often sends to me, and has been several times to see me. He has forgiven my folly, and I expect to be hired again, about the ninth hour of the day, and then I shall bring all the things I have mentioned, and a good many things more. I expect a double honor upon me, for I hope to be steward also, as well as cook and butler, for you must know we have a charming wardrobe, and every one of his Benjamins are to have five changes of raiment; some are to be worn every day, but others only on court days, and public days. The outer one is to be always kept white, and though bad fellows throw dirt on it, yet we must not do so ourselves. What they throw on us will not stick, but what we do, is sure to abide; this is very remarkable. But I had almost forgot the music, a high sounding organ, a harp of ten strings, a cymbal, a lute, a violin, a tabret, and some silver trumpets, as a dance is expected, xxxi. Jeremiah, ver. 4.—We have also got in my master’s house, some armour shoes, which look very beautiful, and fit every ones feet in the family, and they are so strong, that they are like iron and brass; there is a two-edged sword, a battle-axe, a helmet, a shield, a breast plate, and a bow with many precious arrows: thus you see how well we are provided, and in order to pass away our time pleasantly, and for our comfort and instruction, we have a good collection of books; histories, records, and ancient settlements, and a will or testament: and will you believe it? I think your name is in it. I have not time to tell you about the ornaments, with the dresses, but there are ear-rings, nose jewels, necklaces, bracelets, and all powders of the merchant, and as to money, it has all the king’s stamp upon it. Some have but little, but others are well stored with it; and there is but one piece that is ever lost, and when one of the family has once had it, and lost it, a light is brought, the house is swept, and no rest felt till it is found again. May my dear friends be thus entertained in the banqueting house, while the banner of love is displayed over their heads.
Grace be with you all.—Kind respects to your family.
Your’s,
Ruhamah.
I once read an excellent letter on this subject, in the Gospel Magazine. I wish you could procure it for me; it was written many years ago.
LETTER XV.
Valley of Achor, May 2, 1819.
My dear Mrs. F.
My heart feels truly grateful, that you remember me in my low estate. There are thousands in a profession, who boast much of their morality, and good works, and who may boast in the last day, that they have done many wonderful works; but God lays this to their charge, they are not grieved for the afflictions of Joseph! Such hypocrites are generally the most godly, where there are the most lookers on. My deep tribulations have tried many, and they have fled in the day of evil. What would such persons do, should persecution ever visit our land; and when it becomes a disgrace to profess religion? Nothing but the love of Christ in the heart, and that love kept up, and manifested under the sacred power of the holy Spirit, can enable a person to go on in the midst of opposition, or in the summer of prosperity; for it is a well known truth, that trials have slain their thousands, but prosperity its ten thousands. I well know now, what these words mean, “It is my happiness below, not to live without the cross:” this cross galls the old man of sin, but it is the means of the spiritual growth of the new man. Hence, the afflicted king once said, Lord, by these things men live, and in all these things is the life of my spirit. Faith, if genuine has something to do in the furnace; but when all is calm, she is inactive, and dull; hope is languid, and love is not seen. I feel assured in my own, my right mind, that this event will be for the glory of God, and for much good to me, and to many: but enemies will no doubt, always triumph, and say, Ah! there, so we would have it! yet their joy is but as the crackling of thorns, under a pot; it will not last long; only a blaze and a noise, and then it will evaporate, like smoke. I hope I shall love God for this rod, as well as for every other blessing. I never fully understood the Psalmist till I came here, when he said, Thy rod, and thy staff, they comfort me. Solomon explains it thus; To the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet, because this rod is as much an evidence of our adoption, as any promise can be. They shall all pass under the rod, and they will say at last, our Jesus has done all things well. Ezekiel and John were to eat a book; this was sweet in the mouth, but bitter in the belly. So it is the case with us; the promise of fatherly correction is sweet to faith, but bitter to the old man of sin. Nature flinches, but grace strengthens the mind; bows the will, and resigns the soul to the will of God. His will and our wills are then in sweet unison; we are agreed, and though we sigh, yet rebellion is kept under, by all conquering grace; as a good woman once said, Though I groan I do not grumble, yet she was sorely afflicted.
But, why should I complain, of want, or distress;
Affliction or pain, he told me no less.