"No; our women and children are not afraid to die."
John Wesley was deeply stirred. For all his piety he still lacked something which these Brethren possessed. He lacked their triumphant confidence in God. He was still afraid to die. "How is it thou hast no faith?" he said to himself.
For the present his question remained unanswered; but before he had been very long in Georgia he laid his spiritual troubles before the learned Moravian teacher, Spangenberg. He could hardly have gone to a better spiritual guide. Of all the Brethren this modest Spangenberg was in many ways the best. He was the son of a Lutheran minister. He was Wesley's equal in learning and practical piety. He had been assistant lecturer in theology at Halle University. He was a man of deep spiritual experience; he was only one year younger than Wesley himself; and, therefore, he was thoroughly qualified to help the young English pilgrim over the stile.[107] "My brother," he said, "I must first ask you one or two questions. Have you the witness within yourself? Does the Spirit of God bear witness with your spirit that you are a child of God?"
John Wesley was so staggered that he could not answer.
"Do you know Jesus Christ?" continued Spangenberg.
"I know he is the Saviour of the world."
"True; but do you know he has saved you?"
"I hope," replied Wesley, "he has died to save me."
"Do you know yourself?"
"I do," said Wesley; but he only half meant what he said.