He fought furiously on one occasion to prove that Nature abhors a vacuum, and stormed so violently against those who expressed any doubts as to the accuracy of the dogma, that the innocent old philosopher, who had been at rest since the days of Alexander, might really have thought that his disciple meant to harry him out of his grave, such was the din and uproar made. And when the doctor of the regiment presumed to suggest that Torricelli had proved that it was the pressure of the atmosphere that had produced the phenomena that Aristotle had mistaken for Nature's abhorrence of a vacuum, the unfortunate man received such a torrent of abuse, delivered with such tremendous emphasis and vociferation, and such tremendous gestures, that he was glad to make his escape, as soon as he could find an opportunity, without saying another word. But he did not depart without receiving a closing broadside from the General. 'I should advise you, Mr. Cutter, in future,' said the General, 'to be cautious how you expose yourself to the ridicule of your friends, and to beware of venturing on such a palpable absurdity as to compare a paltry Italian fellow, like your Torricelli, with one of the sages of antiquity; perhaps I might say, considering Aristotle as the founder of the syllogistic method of reasoning, the greatest of those great men.'

Cutter departed, after making his salute, a wiser and a sadder man, whispering to the Adjutant as he went out: 'O tempora! O mores! Well, he did not eat me alive, which I thought at one time he was inclined to do.' As Cutter left the mess-house, the General observed: 'What a silly conceited little fellow that is to presume to enter on subjects of which he evidently knows nothing! I shouldn't wonder, in his impudence, that this little carver of human flesh would impugn the syllogistic method, although it has been adopted and followed at both our great seats of learning and knowledge.'

'I greatly fear, General,' said Wagner, the Adjutant, 'that if you question him you'll find Cutter as much a heretic in this matter as in that of the vacuum.'

'Oh, he is, is he?' said the General. 'Well, tell him to dispute the following: "All men are liable to error; in other words, all men are more or less unwise and foolish. Cutter is a man, therefore he is unwise and foolish." There,' said the General; 'let him digest that at his leisure.'

'I heard him the other day,' said Wagner, 'trying to apply the syllogistic method to a saying of some old fellow of Crete, who said that "all the Cretans were liars," and he bothered me by asking whether the Cretan spoke the truth. I told him I couldn't tell. "Not tell?" said he. "Why, if the first proposition was true, then the gentleman who announced it, being a Cretan, must be a liar; and if that proposition was not true, then he was equally a liar for having spoken a falsehood." I confess I couldn't make anything more of it; but perhaps, General, as you understand the syllogistic method so well, you could make something of it.'

General B. looked hard at Lieutenant Wagner, but for a time said nothing, and then said: 'Well, I'll think of it.'

Wagner during the whole time preserved a most imperturbably serious countenance. When the General was gone, Archer, the Quartermaster, said to Wagner: 'Well, you have the cheek of the devil, Wagner; but take care that you don't one of these fine days come to grief. I half suspect that at one time he thought you were laughing at him.'

'Laughing at him!' exclaimed Wagner. 'How could you imagine such a thing? I'd as soon laugh at a boa constrictor when he had his folds round me.'

'Well, well,' returned Archer, 'so be it; but pray be careful, and remember that however ridiculous his pretensions to learning or science may be, he'll be a very ugly customer to deal with.'

'Ugly enough, certainly,' added Wagner, and then walked off. And so this dialogue ended.