A few nights ago I kinder crav’d for A small morsel of sassage meat, And, jist seizin’ my hat from the mantel, I hurri’d out inter the street.
At the shop of Joe Ball I diskiver’d Some what look’d superbly nice; The stamps war put down, and them sassages War mine at a nomernal price.
I carri’d them ter my house in triumph, Without gettin’ scratch’d in the least, And, sev’rin’ some, waited for daylight Ter enjoy a savory feast.
I war up with the crow of the rooster, And went for my sassages straight. I be gol durn’d if one wasn’t purrin’, And rubbin’ himself ’gin the gate!
Another had crawl’d ter the parlor, Whar he crouched down and purr’d, And wistfully watch’d a wire cage Whar slumber’d my favorite bird!
Two others I found in the coal cellar, Anxiously layin’ for rats: While another had her head in a pitcher Whar wife kept the milk for the cats!
I next look’d erbout for the balance, And, an oath I thar gave vent ter. Though thar tails war tied they war creepin’ Erway from a common center!
I survey’d ’em, and they look’d at me From out thar harf-closed eyes, As one of ’em told me that thar mother Had been chopp’d up inter pies.
The poor little orphans implor’d me Thar infantile lives ter spar’; But I had sich a feline mernagerie, That I flatly rerfus’d thar pra’r.
That mornin’ I miss’d my fav’rite rerpast Of fried sassages, ter be sure; But I had the satersfaction ter see The whole lot drown’d in the sewar!