However, lest I weary my readers in dwelling on this subject, about which one cannot say too much, I think I will now simply speak of the decoration of the billiard-room, having, I hope, so judiciously sandwiched the powder between the jam in this chapter, that those who seek for information about the room itself may unawares come upon it, and so be forced to meditate, whether they like it or not, on some of the reasons why so many people dread the idea of a billiard-room where there are boys. If gambling were non-existent, the veriest Chadband might learn to handle the cue; while a pastor at a dissenting chapel need not dread the eyes of his deacons were he found disporting himself in the halls of the ungodly, which would cease to be ungodly, or be no more so than the harmless tennis-courts, were betting eliminated from among their charms, and nothing but the game itself really and truly encouraged and allowed.
A big room is a necessity for a billiard-room, which should never, by any chance, be shorter than twenty-six feet long by twenty broad; a full-sized table measures twelve feet by six, and the size I have spoken of only allows sufficient comfortable room for walking round the table, and for the usual raised seats which are always put at the ends and on one side of the room. Personally, I should prefer a much larger room still, as I like to see one end of the room furnished as a species of sitting-room; but, of course, in London the twenty-six by twenty room would be ample. In the country, the billiard-table comes in for days when shooting is impossible, and the sitting-room end there is a great advantage in more ways than one.
Quite a charming billiard-room can be made by using all brown paint and a high dado, to the top of the door, of brown and gold Japanese leather paper; above the dado the wall should be painted café-au-lait; the cornice should be replaced by a coving, which should terminate in a top-light, from whence the ordinary cross-lights could be hung for use at night, and these surely could be in beaten iron with some prettier shades than the hideous green things which match the equally hideous cloth, which I hope to see replaced soon by something a little more artistic, say in such a room as the one I have just described, by a dull brown cloth, which surely would be every bit as satisfactory as the green, which is certainly the most aggressive shade of green which has ever been made. In this case the shades could be blue, with some lace over them, or the yellow with no lace at all.
Where the ceiling is coved, the coving should always be decorated either with gold leather paper or by an artist’s brush; and I have seen most elaborately drawn pictures of the old wooden ships of Henry VIII.’s time in a similar coving, in sepia on a cream ground, which looked perfectly beautiful, and which I should recommend in a similar room, where stags’ heads and other trophies of the chase should be arranged on the painted wall, which should be too high for pictures, which could not be hung on the dado either, for fear of their being damaged by the ends of the cues. I should advise the use of printed yellow linen for curtains, edged, of course, with ball fringe, were there any windows in the room beside the top-light, which should have a gathered soft yellow blind arranged to draw over it in very hot weather; while the table itself, when not in use, should be covered with a large square of yellow serge lined with American cloth, with a big monogram embroidered on one corner; this would preserve the table, and look much better than the ordinary cloth.
The floor should be parqueterie with strips of velvet pile carpet in golden brown on the four sides; these should be mitred at the corners, and no other carpet would be required, save, of course, a square if we had the drawing-room end to the room I advocated before; if not, the room should be kept for billiards only, when the strips round the table would be quite sufficient; the leather seats should be covered in brown leather, and the fire should be protected by one of the admirable guards sold by Benham & Co., and which have padded tops, on which people can sit and watch the game, and get comfortably warm at the same time.
I have seen a most ingenious arrangement of small cupboards in the overmantel of a billiard-room, which was pronounced invaluable for the safe storing away of cigars and tobacco, which should be mentioned, as of course smoking will be principally carried on in this room. The mantel-piece was walnut, and the fireplace the orthodox open grate and tiled hearth and back; the overmantel was carved to match the mantel, and was quite flat to the wall, which had been scooped out in some manner behind it, to allow of the formation of sundry square cupboards in the wall itself; these each held a cedar-wood box of cigars, with the front end off; and the cigars were so arranged that they could be taken out one by one, when the square wooden block in the overmantel, which formed the entrance to the cupboard, was unlocked, and fell forward on a hinge. No one could have suspected the overmantel of being a cupboard, and yet it was one; while at the same time this particular spot was especially pleasing, I believe, to the constitution of a cigar, which appears to require a certain amount of warmth, until it disappears finally into smoke, leaving its terrible odour behind it. On the mantel-piece itself were dull blue vases holding spills; several ingenious and expensive match-boxes, on which all matches appeared to me to refuse to ignite, and the usual débris one always finds in similar localities, filthy-looking pipes, old date stands, and stands for holding the hunt appointments, and similar expensive and broken toys, being there in vast abundance. Another excellent manner of decorating a billiard-room, where the owner had pictures to dispose of, and did not want a very elaborate or costly decoration, would be formed by papering the room entirely with real brown paper, and painting the room the same soft brown; a frieze should be added, if possible, of one of the Japanese hand-painted friezes one can buy occasionally at any decorator’s, representing a flight of wild ducks, or else of storks, among reeds and flowers; but if this cannot be either found or afforded, a plain gold and brown Japanese leather frieze would look well. This should not be less than fourteen inches wide; anything less is distinctly ugly; while it might come almost to the top of the door, which should be surmounted by one of Wallace’s simple over-doors to hold china, which should be blue and white. The curtains in this room should be Liberty’s very dark blue and white reversible cretonnes; the chairs could be either dark blue leather or saddle-bags with dark blue velvet surrounds; and the carpet should be dark blue pile. This would look well, and be an entirely pleasant scheme of decoration; a hand-painted frieze on brown paper would also be capital if expense were no object.
Yet another and a bolder decoration could be made by using Essex golden ‘Othmar’ paper, with Mandarin paint, and a wide frieze of the dull green ‘Othmar,’ dull green carpets, and Graham & Biddle’s beautiful yellow poppy cretonne, edged with dull green ball fringe, and lined dull green; the carpet should be the dull green ‘Stella’ pile carpet from Wallace’s, and all the chairs should be dull green leather.
If by chance there can be afforded or managed a drawing-room end to the billiard-room, a couple of screens will be found most invaluable; and if these screens have a long spike in each fold, to receive which a corresponding hole is bored in the floor, a great objection to screens will be done away with. Furnished with these spikes, which should be able to be unscrewed and removed quite easily, they could not possibly be knocked over; and, in my opinion, the tall standard lamps, which are so much in request just at present, should be furnished with similar spikes, as they always appear to me dreadfully dangerous, especially where there are children, or even dogs, or careless servants; for though, of course, the danger of fire is entirely done away with if we use Defries’s excellent patent for putting out the light as the lamp falls, the oil must be spilt and damage the carpet, while an unpleasant smash and fright are absolutely certain. We should be saved anything of the kind were my simple spike arrangement adopted by all those who use these lamps.
The drawing-room end of the billiard-room should have a bow window with a seat round, several cosy arm-chairs, a table capable of holding the week’s supply of newspapers and the month’s supply of magazines, each in its own proper corner, and a couple of serviceable paper-knives should be always forthcoming. There should be a nice little writing-table for the use of any who wish to scribble notes; and, above all, there should be either a long bookcase on the wall full of frivolous literature, or else one of Trübner’s excellent bookcases, which revolve and so allow one to reach any book in the case without rising from one’s comfortable seat.
A venerable piano which has seen better days is no mean addition to the comfort and pleasure of the billiard-room, and many an hilarious and impromptu entertainment has chased away the melancholy caused by a wet afternoon in the dismal winter country, due entirely to the happy presence among the company of a piano which was quite good enough to be used to accompany comic songs on, and amply good enough to form the basis for a recitation after—a long way after—Corney Grain or the immortal John Parry.