“Moral.—This may suffice as good advice, to lovers to keep skirts from view, and draw their toes well in sub rosa, when in bower at evening hour, and making spoons by light of moons.”
A BORED TEACHER.
When the prose composition was over, the teacher was about to commence another lesson, but the small boy who had been so active with the cane before, coolly walked up to the desk, took the teacher’s watch out of his pocket, and holding it up called out—
“Mischief-class hour!”
In a moment the air was full of shouts and yells, slates and books, satchells and ink-bottles. Norval and his brothers were quite picklish enough to feel tempted to enjoy the fun; but seeing that the mischief was going far beyond what ought to be joined in, he seized Jaques and Ranulf, and made for the door. Fortunately for the boys, the teacher was between them and the class on their way out; and two ink-bottles, five pieces of india-rubber, a blotting-blad, and a handful of slate pencil, that came flying in their direction, were stopped by the body of the master, who, being a Board teacher, was not, as the boys expected, floored by the missiles, but beamed pleasantly as if all was oakay, and the sensation so dealicious, that he wood like some more treemendously. Just as the boys were getting out at the door, the whole class rushed upon the teacher, and made him fast to the wall with his own nails, where he stuck with a plank look on his plane face, as if he was now bored through and through. Somehow the whole thing seemed to everybody engaged to be so ordinary an occurrence that the three boys felt no alarm, as they would have done under other circumstances; and as they got out and shut the door, had a hearty laugh at the ludicrous scene they had witnessed.
MIXED STORES.
NO SHOP.
On reaching the street they began to stroll through the town, amusing themselves by looking in at the shop-windows. There was plenty of food for merriment, as things were mixed up in a very curious way. The contents of one window were, a leg of mutton, the Children’s Friend, a bottle of senna, six farthing dips, two bunches of radishes, an oyster, a wooden leg, and a stuffed goose. In another, over which was painted upside down “Rafé and Cestaurant,” there were a millstone, a wooden shoe, three india-rubber goloshes, a can of train-oil, two white hats, a brass knocker, and a dead cat. A shop marked “Pluggist, licensed by the Packulty,” exhibited a drum, two sucking pigs, a magic-lantern, five cocked-hats, a green cotton umbrella, two packs of cards, a tin soldier, and a frying-pan. The notices in the windows were also very queer. One said, “No credit given, except without security. Any person paying ready money will be handed over to the police.” Close beside this was another: “Price down from 5s. to 7s. 9d. each.” The boys thought either sum would have been rather dear, as the ticket was upon a common peg-top, such as they had often bought for twopence. Another label bore, “Try our Totalfailure Mixture, strongly remmocended by the Boil College of Imposicians.” It would take too long to speak of all the funny things they saw; besides, it is always bad taste to talk too much “shop.” If any one would like to hear more on that subject, he has only to address a polite note to
Messrs Norval, Jaques, Ranulf, & Company,
The Nurseryfun Works,
Skrumpshustown,
enclosing five thousand stamps, when he will receive by return of post a copy of the most amusing shop-label they saw in Blundertown. If he considers the price too high, let him remember the poet’s query—