Jaques, practical as usual, whispered to Ranulf, “Never mind whether it’s a tart or a heart; just say, ‘You are charged with stealing a tart, or a heart, or something. Are you guilty or not guilty?’”
Ranulf took this advice; and turning to the lady, who was gracefully fanning herself, he asked her the question, only he got confused towards the end, and made it—“Are you gilded or not gilded?”
“Oh, my Lord,” said the lady, “there’s no gilt about me; I’m as true as steel.”
Up started the Clerk.
“Take down, m’ Lud, that she says it’s true she stole.”
“No, I didn’t; I only steeled,” said she.
“Steeeled!” said the Clerk, contemptuously; “how do you spell ‘steeeeled’?”
“S-t-e-e-l-e-d, you old goose!”
WHOLESALE SLAUGHTER.
“Yer Ludship sees how bad she is; her manner’s bad, her grammar’s bad, and her spelling’s bad. Your Ludship had better add another count for murder.”