April 15th.—Quartered at Castello Branco.
This town had been so often visited by the French and us, alternately, that the inhabitants, at length, confounded their friends with their foes; and by treating both sides as enemies, they succeeded in making them so.
When I went this evening to present my billet on a respectable looking house, the door was opened by the lady of it, wearing a most gingerly aspect. She told me, with an equivocal sort of look, that she had two spare beds in the house, and that either of them were at my service; and, by way of illustration, shewed me into a sort of servant's room, off the kitchen, half full of apples, onions, potatoes, and various kinds of lumber, with a dirty looking bed in one corner; and, on my requesting to see the other, she conducted me up to the garret, into the very counterpart of the one below, though the room was somewhat differently garnished. I told her, that they were certainly two capital beds; but, as I was a modest person, and disliked all extremes, that I should be quite satisfied with any one on the floor which I had not yet seen. This, however, she told me, was impossible, as every one of them were required by her own family. While we were descending the stair, disputing the point, I caught the handle of the first door that I came to, twisted it open, and seeing it a neat little room, with nothing but a table and two or three chairs, I told her that it would suit me perfectly; and, desiring her to have a good mattress with clean linen, laid in one corner of it, by nine o'clock; adding a few hints, to satisfy her that I was quite in earnest, I went to dine with my messmates.
When I returned to the house, about ten o'clock, I was told that I should find a light in the room and my bed ready. I accordingly ascended, and found every thing as represented; and, in addition thereto, I found another bed lying alongside of mine, containing a huge fat friar, with a bald pate, fast asleep, and blowing the most tremendous nasal trumpet that I ever heard! As my friend had evidently been placed there for my annoyance, I did not think it necessary to use much ceremony in getting rid of him; and, catching him by the two ears, I raised him up on his legs, while he groaned in a seeming agonized doubt, whether the pain was inflicted by a man or a night-mare; and before he had time to get himself broad awake, I had chucked him and his clothing, bed and bedding, out at the door, which I locked, and enjoyed a sound sleep the remainder of the night.
They offered me no further molestation; but, in taking my departure, at daylight, next morning, I observed my landlady reconnoitring me from an up-stairs window, and thought it prudent not to go too near it.
While we had been employed at Badajos, Marmont had advanced in the north, and blockaded Ciudad Rodrigo and Almeida, sending advanced parties into the frontier towns of Portugal, to the confusion and consternation of the Portuguese militia, who had been stationed for their protection; and who, quite satisfied with the report of their coming, did not think it necessary to wait the report of their cannon. Marshal Beresford, in his paternal address to "Los Valerossos," in commemoration of their conduct on this occasion, directed that the colours of each regiment should be lodged in the town-halls of their respective districts, until they each provided themselves with a pair out of the ranks of the enemy; but I never heard that any of them were redeemed in the manner prescribed.
The French retired upon Salamanca on our approach; and we resumed our former quarters without opposition.
Hitherto we had been fighting the description of battle in which John Bull glories so much—gaining a brilliant and useless victory against great odds. But we were now about to contend for fame on equal terms; and, having tried both, I will say, without partiality, that I would rather fight one man than two any day; for I have never been quite satisfied that the additional quantum of glory altogether compensated for the proportionate loss of substance; a victory of that kind being a doubtful and most unsatisfactory one to the performers, with each occupying the same ground after, that they did before; and the whole merit resting with the side which did not happen to begin it.
We remained about two months in cantonments, to recover the effects of the late sieges; and as by that time all the perforated skins and repairable cracked limbs had been mended, the army was assembled in front of Ciudad Rodrigo, to commence what may be termed the second campaign of 1812.
The enemy retired from Salamanca on our approach, leaving garrisons in three formidable little forts, which they had erected on the most commanding points of the city, and which were immediately invested by a British division.