—I went to see a man walk upon the river, which occasioned the following lines:—
I saw the man, with wondrous skill.
Walk on the yielding stream at will,
Sustained by human art:
Not so did Peter, when to Thee
He stepped upon the rolling sea;
Faith did the power impart.
So while on life's tempestuous wave,
With timid steps I walk; O! save,
Reach out Thy hand to me:
My courage swells, while Thou art near,
Nor foe nor accident I fear,
Though wild the billows be.
But safely on through peril glide,
Supported on the dangerous tide,
By looking unto Thee:
Impossibilities shall yield,
And faith a solid pathway build.
Across the stormy sea.
I have had some family exercises;—scarce worth a thought, if I had more of the mind of Christ; yet I have been able to tell my care to God, and at his footstool, I have got rid of my burden. I enjoy the soul's calm sunshine.—When I consider how time slips away, and how little I effect for my own improvement, and that of others, I am ashamed. My life appears so blotted, I can only say, 'God be merciful to me a sinner;' but praise God, I can rely with greater confidence than formerly upon his promises. I know I am his child, and my happiness is in doing the will of my Father.—Mrs. Taft is with us. O that the disappointment she has met with, (the refusal of the chapel,) may turn out rather to the furtherance of the Gospel, and more especially for the benefit of my family.—I understand she spoke in the school-room with energy and power; and at the prayer-meeting which followed, my Eliza was restored to the favour of God. Thus the Lord out of seeming evil has brought good to my child.—The one thing is daily the object of my desires and efforts. I want more clearly to exhibit the fruits of righteousness in my ordinary conversation. Being naturally of a hasty temperament, I need constantly to be baptized with the meek, and lowly spirit of Jesus. Grant me, O Lord, my heart's desire. I do feel Thy sanctifying presence, but O how I long for more.—The Lord is working amongst the children. My Richard, at the new School vestry, felt the drawings of the Spirit; and William, I am told, cried out aloud. O that these early impressions may come to maturity. My soul, praise the Lord for these beginnings. How shall I best foster these tender plants: Lord, teach me to cherish the good, and to correct the errors of youthful feeling. My father and mother have entered the house we have built for them adjoining our own. We had a prayer-meeting on the occasion, which was a blessed season to my soul."
"1823.—For the last time, I visited Jane S. She was scarcely recollected; but after a little time she requested me to pray. She seemed very much in earnest. I endeavoured to point her to Jesus. For a moment she revived; but in the night she died. So in one short week, two are gone out of my husband's class.—This morning I felt great power in prayer, and an ardent desire for full deliverance from every besetment. In this spirit I entered into my family, resolving to watch with all diligence; but alas! imperfection is stamped upon all I do,—so many wanderings, useless words, and deviations from the perfect law of God, that, were it not for the blood of Jesus, all hope of heaven would be excluded. Yet in private I had sweet communion with God. I have derived profit from the perusal of Lady Maxwell's Journal. Some points of her experience correspond with my own: this encourages me. Nothing seems so desirable, nothing so amiable, as momentary living to God.—Mr. McKitrick brought me Mrs. King's class-paper, requesting me to take charge of the class until she recovered. I durst not refuse it, although I felt my inability very great. My mental struggles since have been many. It is suggested I am influenced by pride; that I imagine I can do better than another; only by casting myself upon God, and resolving to leave myself in His hands, I find help. O that I were satisfied, I am called to this work! By any means discover this to me, and fit me by Thy grace; then gladly will I be spent for Thee, who gavest Thyself an offering for me.—I went in much fear to meet Mrs. K's little flock, among whom I felt liberty; but afterward, my uneasy state of mind returned. O God, since all things are possible to Thee, subdue my heart; let all within and all without submit to Thy sovereign sway. One of the members requested me to read the last chapter of the first Epistle of Peter, which I have done several times, and found it sweet."
As Mrs. K. never recovered, and indeed died shortly after, Mrs. Lyth's appointment to the office of leader was confirmed; an arrangement, which, notwithstanding her deep sense of her own insufficiency, met with the cordial approbation of the class. One of the oldest members, who was present on the occasion of her first meeting them, says, "I well recollect, with what profound humility, and with what fear and trembling, she undertook the office of class-leader. While she was confessing to us, that she felt utterly unworthy, and unfit for such a responsibility, my heart rejoiced, that we were privileged with the appointment of one, possessed of so many excellencies. She said, if the Lord had anything for her to do, she durst not refuse; that He had often employed very weak instruments to carry on His work; and added, "Oh! that He may use me for His glory! Friends, you must pray that the Lord may give me a double portion of His spirit, for I feel my own helplessness." Then, on her knees, she poured out her soul to God with great earnestness, that He would fully qualify her for the work which had been imposed upon her." Her own conviction of duty was however not so easily attained, and several entries occur like the following:—
"I again met Mrs. K's class, and found it very profitable to my own soul: yet I am not quite satisfied I am right. O make it fully known, and, if this is the path of duty, crown my feeble efforts.—None but the true Christian knows the sweets of communion with the Father, and the Son, through the blessed Spirit. 'Them that honour me I will honour, came sweetly to my mind yesterday; by which I was led to see, if I faithfully walk in His commandments, He will honour me with His presence, and clothe me with His free Spirit. While pouring out my soul in secret, the nearness I felt to Jesus is better felt than expressed;—unusual power to give my all to Him without any reserve, as far as I can judge of myself. Is this the work of entire sanctification? Set to Thy seal, O my God, let the enemy no more rob me of this jewel; but bear directly to my heart, the witness of Thy love.—I have had many visits from above, but not without interruptions. The use of more words than necessary has, on reflection, occasioned feelings of pain. Oh! when will all my powers be brought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.—My wedding day! Seventeen years I have worn the silken-chain; during the last, I have enjoyed more of the life and power of God, and now the sacred flame burns brightly on my heart. With respect to my marriage, I believe it was solemnized in the fear of God; and an increasing union exists between me and my dear companion. We have many a blessed interview with God, when shut in from all beside. Oh the goodness of God to me! His mercies have far exceeded my trials, and even out of my several sorrows He has brought my greatest blessings.—At Mrs. K.'s class the Lord graciously sustained me with His presence; my doubts respecting this work seem now to disperse, and unless I am deceiving myself, I am in the way of providence. I inquired of one of the friends, if any time was fixed to pray for the revival of the work of God, and am told, every Friday—fasting; hours of prayer; six, nine, and twelve in the morning, and three and six in the afternoon. By the help of God, I am resolved to join them. The Lord is blessedly with, me this evening."