ALICE. ‘Cosmo.’ She is not a tamed mother yet, and in sudden wrath she flips his face with her hand. He accepts it as a smack. The Colonel foolishly chooses this moment to make his return. He is in high good-humour, and does not observe that two of his nearest relatives are glaring at each other.
COLONEL, purring offensively, ‘It’s all right now, Alice; she took to me at once.’
ALICE, tartly, ‘Oh, did she!’
COLONEL. ‘Gurgled at me—pulled my moustache.’
ALICE. ‘I hope you got on with our dear son as well.’
COLONEL. ‘Isn’t he a fine fellow.’
ALICE. ‘I have just been smacking his face.’ She sits down and weeps, while her son stands haughtily at attention.
COLONEL, with a groan, ‘Hst, I think you had better go and get that evening paper.’
Cosmo departs with his flag flying, and the bewildered husband seeks enlightenment.
‘Smacked his face. But why, Alice?’