If a failure as a burglar, be a “hook”;
’Tis the worst of all life’s phases,
If you’re on the road to blazes,
To go crook—
And the world just guys you worse for going crook.
If you can’t get gin and bitters, stick to rum;
If you cannot be a spendthrift, be a hum;
If your credit grows so slender
That you can’t dig up a bender,
Take a thrum—