"Well, the more we owe you the more you will have coming," I suggested; "and I'll just say this: That we have been traveling over a large scope of country, and yours is one of the best hotels we have ever stopped at; and I'll give you my word as a gentleman that we'll never leave till our bill is settled."
"But, —— it!" He ejaculated. "I tell you the longer you stay the worse I am off, and the harder it will be to settle."
"But," said I, "you don't understand the nature of our business. If you did you would know that it would be as easy for us to pay a large bill as a small one." I then added:
"Rest assured, landlord, that until this bill is paid in full—one hundred cents on the dollar—you can always count on two Star boarders."
We then stared at each other for about two minutes, when he began to laugh, and said:
"Well, you're a dandy! Come and take a drink."
"No, thank you; I never drink."
"Take a cigar, then."
"I never smoke, landlord."
"Well, what on earth do you do? I'd like to show my appreciation of the style of man you are, by treating or doing something to please you."