"Is she going to help? Well, then, all right. I'll help you out this one time, but never again."
I took him to the dining room, and after he took his coat off, put a large white apron on him and gave him a few instructions. We had five kinds of meat, and I posted him thoroughly as to what he should say to the guests.
Directly I called dinner, and the tables were soon filled.
The Doctor watched from the kitchen for the cue from me to make a start. When I gave it he entered in his shirt-sleeves, with the large apron on, carrying an immense tray in one hand and his gold-headed cane in the other, and had forgotten to take his plug hat off. It was setting on the back of his head, and his appearance was grotesque in the extreme.
He gave me a look of disgust as he marched in, and faltered for a moment, as though not quite certain where to commence. Then he made another start, and stepping up to the nearest man, rested the tray on the back of his chair, and stood partially leaning on his cane; and looking over his glasses, said:
"Roast beef, roast mutton, roast—well, roast mutton, roast meat, roast— —— it! we have twenty-one different kinds of meat. What'll you have?"
By this time I had been forced to leave the room for laughter, returning as soon as I could command myself. The Doctor was up to his ears in business. Perspiring profusely, and much excited, he still hung to his cane and plug hat. He was absolutely the most comical sight I had ever witnessed.
When I met the Doctor at the kitchen door, with the tray piled up with several orders, he took time to say:
"—— it! I thought you said the landlady was going to help."