"Great Heavens! sure enough," he interrupted. "I forgot that. It's on her table. And my spectacles—the Lord knows where they are! But get me out of this, quick; and hurry over there and fix it."
"Fix what?" I asked. "What did she say, Doctor?"
"Good! all I heard her say was: 'What will my poor Mike do for his dinner?' and then she—never mind what she said, but hurry up."
I then said to him:
"Doctor, you go right through the dining room and on up-stairs to your room, and I'll go over and see if I can find what there is left of you."
He asked if there were no back stairs. I said yes, but they were very dark. I then led him to the back stair-way, and offered to accompany him to his room. But he said I should hurry over there and fix things. So, after explaining to him the back-stair route to his room, I was about to close the door on him, when he placed his hand on his head and said:
"My! just feel of this bunch. And I guess my hat is ruined, Hurry over and see about it, quick."
I closed the stair-way door and started across the back yard. When not more than six or eight rods away, I heard a noise at the house that startled me. One of the girls came running out, and screamed for me to come back, quick.
By the time I arrived there they had succeeded in hauling the Doctor out from the entrance to the stair-way, and he was completely deluged with slops.
He began swearing and cursing the chambermaid, and cursed me for hiring a Dutchman to do the work.