At this Johnny's eyes fairly glistened, and he turned ghastly pale. Then jumping to his feet and pounding the table with his fist, he cried out:
"Johnston, you're a —— fraud! and have nearly succeeded in starving me to death, and —— me if I——"
"But, sit down—sit down; let me explain—let me explain."
He resumed his seat, when I began with:
"You see, Johnny, I thought you were partial to boarding-houses, and as everything was neat and clean and nice and tid——"
"Oh, tidy be ——! Cuss your nice old lady, and her good conversation, and all the —— well-bred kids. I'll be cussed if you'll ever come any such smart tricks on me again. The best will be none too good for me, hereafter. I thought all the while that you were feeling mighty gay for a man living on wind and water, and sleeping on a bunch of straw. And I suppose, if the truth were known, you slipped off up to some hotel every night after I got to sleep, and staid till five o'clock in the morning, and then returned in time to make a —— fool of me. But look out for breakers hereafter. No more clean, nice, tidy boarding-houses for me, no matter how home-like it is, nor how good a talker the old woman is. I am through—through forever, even though all the well-bred children in Missouri starve for the want of income from boarders, I am going to move to-day."
We then moved to a respectable hotel, where both were delighted with the wonderful change.
After leaving Kansas City we remained together for some time, but Johnny made no improvement in his manner of living till finally his money was gone and his stock was reduced to a mere handful of goods. At last one Saturday afternoon we went out to make a sale and I cleaned out the last dollars' worth and then sold the trunks and declared the business defunct.
Johnny protested, but I argued with him that the sooner he sold out entirely and spent the money the sooner he could call on his wife for more.