A Duel in the Dark: An Original Farce, in One Act

by J. Stirling Coyne

MRS. G. Well, have you made your choice?

GREEN. No—yes—there—this will do! (takes one of the pistols, MRS. G keeps the other. Apart) Oh, lord, my heart’s in my wellingtons!

MRS. G. Are you ready now?

GREEN. No—no—no—not yet! let’s take our time! do you think a human being should be shot with as little ceremony as a sack of coals?

MRS. G. Haw! Shall we fire at the first word?

GREEN. Kill a fellow creature at the first word! Rash young man, we must have two words to that! Let the signal be “Death and Glory;” you shall take “Death” and I’ll have “Glory.”

MRS. G. And then fire? Very well, now mind your eye. “Death!”

GREEN. (dodging about in great alarm) Hollo! stop! stop! what are you about? My glory is not ready for death!—let’s deliberate a little! (GREENFINCH is now behind the stove)

MRS. G. Oh, nonsense! I never deliberate—are you ready?