My father he give me a surprisin' good eddication for a hembyro 'bus-driver, meaning me to go into the stevedore business in Lime-'ousc basin, same as 'e was 'imself, but my 'ead got swelled a-talkin' to a most superior policeman what 'ad come down in the world, and nothing would sat-ersfy me but mixin' in 'igh life. So our rector 'e gives me a introduction to a bloomin' aunt o' his in the country what wanted a boy in buttons, and into buttons I goes, and I says to myself, says I, 'Halfred, you're goin' to be a credit to your fam'ly, you are'; that's what I says. Blimy, I often larf now a-thinkin' of it!”
He paused to blow his nose in a primitive but effective fashion, and smiled gently to himself at these recollections of his youthful optimism.
“How long did you remain in these buttons?” I asked him.
“Till I outgrowed them,” said Halfred.
“And after that?”
“I was servant to a gentleman what hadvertised for a honest young man, hexperience bein' no hobject.”
I asked him how he liked that.
“I was comfertable enough; that I can't deny,” said Halfred.
“And why, then, did you leave?”
“The heverlastin' reason w'y I does most foolish things, sir. My 'eart is too suscepterble, and the ladies'-maid was too captivatin'. She wouldn't 'ave nothin' to do with me, so I chucks the 'ole thing up, and, says I, 'I'll be hinderpendent, I will.' 'Ence I'm a-drivin' a 'bus.”