CONTENTS

[Introduction] vii
[Part One—THE PLACES (Confidential)]
1. [My Little Gay Home in the East] [3]
2. [The Canyon] [7]
3. [The Main Drag] [16]
[a. Give My Regards to Broadway] [19]
[b. No Cover Charge] [24]
[c. From the Circle to the Square] [27]
4. [The Theatah] [38]
5. [Swing Lane] [43]
6. [East Side, Best Side] [49]
7. [We Never Go There Any More] [67]
8. [Where Men Wear Lace Lingerie] [72]
9. [It's Not True] [78]
[a. Chinatown] [78]
[b. Little Tokyo] [86]
[c. Koreans] [89]
[d. Corregidor] [89]
10. [Around the World in New York] [91]
[a. Beer and Pretzels] [91]
[b. Borscht and Blintzes] [93]
[c. The Not-So-Blue Danube] [100]
[d. Little Italy] [100]
[e. Stromberry Poy] [102]
[f. Modern Babel] [102]
11. [Black Ghetto] [104]
12. [And Ye Took Me In!] [126]
13. [Up in Central Park] [134]
14. [New York's Dormitories] [138]
[Part Two—THE PEOPLE (Confidential)] [143]
15. [The Minx in Minks] [144]
16. [Guys and Pearls][151]
17. [Glamor Pusses] [156]
18. [Models] [161]
19. [Second from the End] [169]
20. [Party Girls] [179]
21. [It Could Only Happen on Broadway] [182]
[a. The Carrot Top and the Opal] [182]
[b. Edith Finds Love] [185]
[c. Unto the Second Generation] [187]
[d. The Good Deed] [192]
[e. Gun Moll] [194]
22. [White Way Wolves] [200]
23. [The Noted and the Notorious] [206]
24. [There is No Society] [209]
25. [Hoodlums' Hierarchy] [220]
26. [Hello Sucker!] [231]
27. [No Pain, No Fun] [236]
[Part Three—THE LOWDOWN (Confidential)] [241]
28. [But You've Got to Get Here First] [242]
29. [Room with Adjoining Blonde] [250]
30. [Tips on the Town] [259]
31. [Inside Stuff] [270]
32. [Midnight Manners] [277]
33. [Confidential Guide to New York] [284]
[Part Four—THE APPENDIX (Confidential)] [297]
A. [Backstage Phone Numbers] [298]
B. [Ticket Stubs] [299]
C. [Headwaiters' Names] [301]
D. [Movie Company Talent Scouts] [301]
E. [Glossary of Harlemisms] [302]
F. [Gustatory Guide] [305]

[INTRODUCTION]

P-s-s-t—

Lait and Mortimer want a word with you—confidential:

The authors had a lot of fun writing these pages. And infinitely more getting what they put into them. They both turned prematurely gray becoming Broadway-wise.

What you will read here they observed, absorbed, inhaled and swallowed through the years. They lived it.

This tome has no message. It may be helpful, it may be useful, but never purposeful, though it attempts to offer much sound advice. But who ever followed sound advice? If folks did, there would be no more marriages, divorces, gambling, guzzling, dancing, romancing, chasing, cheating, slickers, suckers, hussies, hangmen or hangovers—heaven forbid!