The Goose Man again struck up his gentle laugh. He replied: “Many live, and yet do not live; suffer, and yet do not suffer. In what does guilt lie? What does it consist of? In not feeling; in not doing. The first thing for some men to do is to eradicate completely the false notions they have of what constitutes greatness. For what is greatness after all? It is nothing in the world but the fulfilment of an unending circle of petty duties, small obligations.”
“There is a fundamental difference between the creator and all other men,” remarked Daniel, at once excited and troubled by the conversation and the turn it was taking.
“Do you appeal to, depend on, refer to music in this present case?” asked the Goose Man, his good-natured look becoming more or less disdainful.
“In music every creation is more closely related to an unconditional exterior than is true of anything else that man gives to man,” answered Daniel. “The musical genius stands nearer God than any other genius.”
The Goose Man nodded. “But his fall begins one step from God’s throne, and is a high and deep one. Do you know what you are? And do you really know what you are not?”
Daniel pressed his hand to his heart: “Have you ever known me to fight for evanescent laurels? Have I ever tried to feed the human race, which is a race of minors, on surrogates? Have I ever imitated the flights of Heaven with St. Vitus dance, confusing the one with the other? Have I not always acted in accord with the best, the inmost knowledge I had, and in obedience to my conscience? Was I ever a liar?”
“No, no, no!” cried the Goose Man, by way of appeasing Daniel’s unrest. He took off his cap, and laid it on his knee. “You were always sincere. There can be no doubt about it, your heart was always in your profession. All life has streamed into your soul, and you have lived in the ivory tower. Your soul was well protected, well protected from the very beginning. It was in a position similar to that created by a swimmer who rubs his body with grease before plunging into the water. You have suffered; the poison of the Nessus shirt you have worn has burned your skin, and the pain you have thereby suffered has been transformed into sweet sounds. So they all are, the creators, invulnerable and inaccessible. That is the way you picture them to yourself. Is it not true? Monsters who take up the cross of the world, and yet, grief-laden though they be, grow beyond their own fate. Such is your lot; and so do you look to-day in your forty-second year.”
Daniel was not prepared for this tone of bitterness; he turned his face to the corner where the Goose Man was sitting. “I do not understand you,” he said slowly. The pitiable crying of little Gottfried could be heard from the room opening out on the court, and then Agnes’s quieting lullaby.
“If you only had not lived in the ivory tower!” cried the Goose Man. “If you only had been more sensitive and not so well protected! If you had only lived, lived, lived, really and truly, and near to life, like a naked man in a thicket of thorns! Life would have got the best of you, but your love would have been real, the hate you have experienced real, your misfortunes real, the lies, ridicule, and betrayal all real, and the shadows of those who have died from you would have taken on reality. And the poison of the Nessus shirt would not merely have burned your skin; it would have penetrated to your very blood, it would have found its way to the deepest, most secret recesses of your heart. Your work would have been carried on and out, not in a struggle against your darkness and your limited torments of soul, a slave before men and unblessed of God. Eliminate from your mind now, forever and completely, the delusion that you have borne the sufferings of the world! You have merely borne your own sufferings, loving-loveless, altruistic-egoist, monster, man without a country that you are!”
“Who are you? What are you trying to say?” asked Daniel, automatically, falteringly, with pale lips.