“Well,” said Major Larry in some confusion, “t’ings was terruble slow in de drummin’ department. We wasn’t in de fight, you know, sir, an’ I didn’t feel like I was learnin’ nuttin’ ’bout war, a-sittin’ down in de shade an’ listenin’ to de fellies tell yarns dat was grey headed w’en Noah was yachtin’ in de ark. So w’en de drum major started in to get off de rattiest ches’nut o’ de season, I oozed out o’ sight behin’ a big tree, an’ from dat I skinned across to anodder one, an’ den I sneaked it, t’rough de brush an’ over de fields, to where A was posted.”
“H’m!” muttered the colonel, frowning darkly. “How long is it, Adjutant, since we’ve had to have a regimental court-martial?”
“I didn’t mean to do nuttin’ wrong, sir!” said Larry hastily. “I wasn’t no use where I was, an’ I t’ought p’raps I c’d be some help to de cap’n if I happened over dat way. I didn’t t’ink de drum major needed me any longer, sir. An’ he didn’t say I couldn’t go. Hones’!”
“Well, you can thank your lucky stars that I didn’t catch you away from your post,” said the colonel grimly. “This time I’ll overlook the breach of discipline on account of your extreme youth, but you’ll do well to be careful in the future. And now go on with your report.”
The adjutant quietly slipped out of the room, going in the direction of the staff office. He was back again in an instant, and soon after he had seated himself, Langforth, the paymaster, and Woodleigh, Q.M., casually put in an appearance and took possession of a couple of chairs near the door.
“I—I don’ know,” said Larry hesitatingly, in response to the colonel’s command, “jus’ exackly how to begin. I was dere, for a fac’, an’ seen de whole scrap—but I aint used to makin’ reports.”
“You’ll begin,” said the colonel, slowly and impressively, “by describing the terrain—”
“W’at’s dat?” interrupted Larry most respectfully.
“It means the lay of the land,” said the colonel. “You’ll describe to us the lay of the land. Then you’ll state the disposition of the troops engaged. And then you’ll tell what those troops did, paying particular attention to the operations of A Company. Go on.”
Major Larry fumbled for an instant with one of the shining brass buttons of his blue blouse, then stiffened his back, cleared his throat, saluted, and began his account of the battle.