To you I have nothing to say,
Except ye are able
To splice a chain cable
Or get a sheer hulk under way.
But to my veteran friends,
I submit here my odds and my ends.
I begin at the good old times when luxury was not known in the service, when we were carrying on the war against the Yankees and the French. My father, the late Captain Francis Geary Gardner, was appointed through the interest of Admiral Francis Geary[[2]] (afterwards Sir Francis), and of my mother’s uncle, Admiral William Parry,[[3]] to be master of the Boreas, a new frigate of 28 guns fitting at Chatham, and commanded by Captain Charles Thompson, with the promise of Lord Sandwich (then first lord of the admiralty) to be promoted when opportunity offered; which promise his lordship performed by appointing him lieutenant of the Conqueror, 74, as will be seen hereafter.
It has pleased God to give me a good memory, and I have perfect recollection of almost every circumstance from very early life. My objection in writing my naval recollections is to amuse my family when I am moored head and stern; and I shall first state for their information that my naval ancestors held the rank from admiral of the white to that of commander, and in the soldiering line from general to major. Having settled this point I shall now commence by stating that, while the Boreas was fitting, we took lodgings at the house of a cross old maid at Brompton, named Patty Pankhurst, who I have reason to remember; for having unfortunately cut up some carrots she had for dinner, and upsetting her potatoes down an alley, she for this innocent amusement never forgave me. I well recollect a ghostly story the old hussy related about the boatswain of the Bonny Broom who was drowned going off to his ship near Gillingham, and how he used to be seen cruising up and down along the shore and hailing ‘Board the Bonny Broom ahoy!’ three times, and then go to the churchyard exactly at 1 o’clock and disappear! She would kindly tell me this at night, adding ‘Hark, don’t you hear him?’ and then I would be afraid to go to bed. This had ten times more effect upon my nerves than the little cane she kept for active service,
With which she laid about more busily
Than the Amazonian dame Penthesile (Hudibras);