One night soon after his return, when he had the first watch, some of the midshipmen reefed his blankets—this is done by making the ends fast and forming by numerous turns the blanket into the shape of a ring very difficult to undo. As soon as he was relieved he went to his hammock and groping about (for he never would take a light into the tier), he was heard to mutter, ‘What the hell have they done with the ends?’ and at last roared out, ‘A horse’s collar, by God.’ After several fruitless attempts to shake the reef out, he went upon deck and brought down the ship’s corporal and quartermaster with a light, and ordered them to clear his blankets; but they were as unable as himself, while the midshipmen in the tier were convulsed with laughter, and Billy, foaming with rage, drove away the corporal and quartermaster, calling them lubberly wa wa ——s. At this time a cry was heard from a remote part of the tier, ‘Lay out, you lubberly rascal, and shake the reef out.’ At this Billy lost all patience, and after damning his two eyes he unshipped the orlop gratings and got some billets of wood out of the hold, and in less than a minute the tier was cleared. Soon after some of the watch came down and put his bedding to rights and all was quiet. The same compliment that Cicero paid to Cæsar may also be paid to Billy, “that he remembered everything but an injury.” The next morning he thought nothing of the matter.
Speaking about the Roman history respecting the battle of Actium between Augustus and Antony, he said he was in the battle and remembered all about it. The fact was he mistook the name and thought it was some place where he had been in the American war. He never heard the last of this, and when speaking of any battle where he had been present, was always asked if it took place thirty years before Christ. Captain Calder once sent for him to go in the launch for beer to Weevil.[[78]] ‘Go back,’ says he to the quartermaster, ‘and tell Captain C. that Mr. Wood’ (meaning Lord Hood, who he never called by his right name) ‘never sent me away at seven bells and I shan’t go now without my dinner. As soon as I have got that I will go like a lark—damn my two eyes.’ Of course this was not told the captain.
While we had Admiral Roddam’s flag in the harbour, a Dutch ship of the line anchored at Spithead and used to fire the morning and evening gun, without our taking notice of the circumstance. However, Bobby Calder soon found it out and came on board in a terrible rage, and gave the commanding officer (Prowse) a severe lecture, and told us all to prepare for a court martial for neglect in not reporting the transaction; at the same time sending a message to the Dutchman that if he persisted in such conduct a ship of the line would be sent alongside of him. This the Dutchman did not relish and took himself off as quick as possible.
Captain Calder was a man that had the service at heart and was a very strict disciplinarian. We dared not appear on deck without our full uniform, and a round hat was never allowed; our side arms always on the quarter deck ready for duty, and when exercising sails the midshipmen in the tops were to be in full dress. I remember when the signal was made for all lieutenants while lying in Torbay, that several came on board not exactly in uniform. He, without hearing a word they had to say, turned them out of the ship with a severe reprimand—old Lieutenant Noah Webb (with his crossjack brace[[79]] eye), who commanded a cutter at the head of them; and when the late Sir Joseph Yorke (then a lieutenant) came on board at Spithead with strings in his shoes, Captain Calder came running out of his cabin and desired him to quit the ship immediately; and though Sir Joseph told him he was not on duty, it was all to no purpose; he kept following him to the gangway saying, ‘My hat’s off, sir; you must go out of the ship,’ which the other was obliged to do in high dudgeon.
In working the ship no one was allowed to speak but himself, and I have seen the Barfleur brought to an anchor and the sails furled like magic, without a voice being heard except his own.[[80]]
Sedate and silent move the numerous bands;
No sound, no whisper but their chiefs commands;
These only heard, with awe the rest obey,
As if some god had snatched their voice away.—Iliad.
No ship in the navy was in such high order. The midshipmen’s berths were fitted up in great style (the beginning of luxury which the war soon after put a stop to), with rules and regulations. If a candle was taken off the table a fine of sixpence must be paid; and a shilling, if a hat was hung up in the berth or left on the chairs. This was all very well for the dandy aristocracy, but did not suit some of us that formerly belonged to the old Edgar; and Dick Heycock was the first to kick, and refused to abide by the regulations laid down by a proud and usurping few; and we carried our point, and things went on much better when the petty tyranny was abolished. Captain Calder would always bring the nobility that visited the ship to see the midshipmen’s berths, and used to say: ‘This is the place where all the admirals and captains in the service are tried every day, and where no one escapes being hauled over the coals.’