“25th April, 1785. Dining on guard with Colonel Lord Cathcart,[306] Cataline was mentioned. ‘Who was he?’ said George[307] Hanger, ‘for I know no ancient history.’ ‘I’ll tell you what he was,’ said Colonel Tarleton. ‘Alieni cupidus, sui profusus.’ ‘Very fair!’ said Hanger. In a little talking of fellows going carelessly to execution, Tarleton said, ‘We’re told Sir Thomas More smiled all the way.’”
“Mrs. Heron[308] being at her parish church, the name of the minister being Stot,[309] as it was a very bad day, and the wind and rain were driving through the windows, a lady observed that it was like a guarde mange. ‘I think so too, madam,’ said she; ‘but if that were the case I should think it would be better to have a dead stot than a living one.’”
From herself.
“Houstoun Stewart[310] was one night in Drury Lane playhouse very shabbily dressed. A surly-looking, boorish fellow comes up to him: ‘Pray, sir, whose seat do you keep?’ Houstoun replied with an ironical complaisance, ‘Yours, sir.’ As he was rising the fellow observed his sword, was much confused, and asked ten thousand pardons. ‘From this,’ says Stewart, ‘we see the value of a sword. Had I wanted it I might have been taken for a real footman.’”
Mr. G. Goldie.
“A comical fellow was telling that Raploch sat upon turkey eggs and brought out birds, which made the company laugh extremely. ‘Stay, stay, gentlemen!’ says Harry Barclay;[311] ‘you don’t know that these turkeys are all my cousins german, for Raploch is my uncle.’”
Lady Kames.[312]
“A gentleman was one night talking of the Nile. An ignorant boobie who was present asked him with great eagerness, ‘Pray, what fellow was that?’ ‘Why, troth, sir,’ says he, ‘it was a fellow that took a conceit to hide his head so that it could not be found again.’”
Mrs. Heron.
“A dog one day jumped upon Miss Bruce[313] of Kinross’s lap at a tea-table. ‘I wonder,’ says she, ‘if dogs can see anything particularly agreeable about me?’ ‘Indeed, madam,’ replied a gentleman, ‘he would be a very sad dog that did not.’”