Laws my Pindarick parents matter'd not,

So I was tragi-comically got.

My infant tears a sort of measure kept,

I squal'd in Distichs, and in Triplets wept.

No youth did in I education waste,

Happy in an Hereditary Taste.

Writing ne'er cramp'd the sinews of my thumb,

Nor barb'rous birch e'er brush'd my brawny bum.

My guts ne'er suffer'd from a college-cook,

My name ne'er enter'd in a buttery-book.