"I think you are bound to submit, Sir George Templemore" said John Effingham, with an emphasis on the name that raised a smile among his friends; "Brussels certainly lies on a flat; and the hill you saw has, doubtless, been brought up with you from Holland in your haste. Mr. Dodge enjoyed a great advantage in his mode of travelling; for, by entering a town in the evening, and quitting it only in the morning, he had the whole night to look about him."
"That was just my mode of proceeding, Mr. John Effingham; I made it a rule to pass an entire night in every large town I came to."
"A circumstance that will give a double value to your opinions with our countrymen, Mr. Dodge, since they very seldom give themselves half that leisure when once in motion. I trust you have not passed over the institutions of Belgium, sir; and most particularly the state of society in the capital, of which you saw so much?"
"By no means; here are my remarks on these subjects:
"--'Belgium, or The Belges, as the country is now called, is one of the upstart kingdoms that have arisen in our times; and which, from signs that cannot be mistaken, is fated soon to be overturned by the glorious principles of freedom. The people are ground down, as usual, by the oppression of hard task-masters, and bloody-minded priests. The monarch, who is a bigoted Catholic of the House of Saxony, being the son of the king of that country, and a presumptive heir to the throne of Great Britain, in right of his first wife, devoting all his thoughts to miracles and saints. The nobles form a class by themselves, indulging in all sorts of vices.'--I beg pardon, Sir George, but the truth must be told in our country, or one had better never speak.--'All sorts of vices, and otherwise betraying the monstrous tendencies of the system.'"
"Pray, Mr. Dodge," interrupted John Effingham, "have you said nothing as to the manner in which the inhabitants relieve the eternal ennui of always walking on a level surface?"
"I am afraid not, sir. My attention was chiefly given to the institutions, and to the state of society, although I can readily imagine they must get to be heartily tired of a dead flat"
"Why, sir, they have contrived to run a street up and down the roof of the cathedral; and up and down this street they trot all hours of the day."
Mr. Dodge looked distrustful; but John Effingham maintained his gravity. After a pause the former continued:--
"'The usages of Brucksills are a mixture of Low Dutch and High Dutch habits, as is the language. The king being a Polander, and a grandson of Augustus, king of Poland, is anxious to introduce the customs of the Russians into his court; while his amiable young queen, who was born in New Jersey when her illustrious father kept the school at Haddonfield, early imbibed those notions of republicanism which so eminently distinguish his Grace the Honourable Louis Philippe Orleans, the present King of the French.'"