"Sir Solomon and the other personage you mention were a little pursy, perhaps," observed Mr. Sharp, "which destroyed their grace."
"I disapprove of all kneeling, on general principles, sir. If we kneel to one, we shall get to kneel to another, and no one can tell where it will end. 'The exclusive manner in which the congregation were seated in pews, with sides so high that it was difficult to see your nearest neighbour; and these pews' (Mr. Dodge pronounced this word poohs,) 'have often curtains that completely enclose their owners, a system of selfishness that would not be long tolerated in Ameriky.'"
"Do individuals own their pews in America?" inquired Mr. Sharp.
"Often," returned John Effingham; always, "except in those particular portions of the country where it is deemed invidious, and contrary to the public rights, to be better off than one's neighbour, by owning any thing that all the community has not a better claim to than its proprietor."
"And canot the owner of a pew curtain it, with a view to withdrawn into it himself at public worship?"
"America and England are the antipodes of each other in all these things. I dare say, now, that you have come among us with an idea that our liberty is so very licentious, that a man may read a newspaper by himself?"
"I confess, certainly, to that much," returned Mr. Sharp, smiling.
"We shall teach him better than this, Mr. Dodge, before we let him depart. No, sir, you have very contracted ideas of liberty, I perceive. With us every thing is settled by majorities. We eat when the majority eats; drink, when the majority drinks; sleep, when the majority sleeps; pray, when the majority prays. So far from burying ourselves in deep wells of pews, with curtains round their edges, we have raised the floors, amphitheatre fashion, so that every body can see every body; have taken away the sides of the pews, which we have converted into free and equal seats, and have cut down the side of the pulpit so that we can look at the clergyman; but I understand there is actually a project on foot to put the congregation into the pulpit, and the parson into the aisle, by way of letting the latter see that he is no better than he should be. This would be a capital arrangement, Mr. Dodge, for the 'Four-and-twenty fiddlers all in a row.'"
The editor of the Active Inquirer was a little distrustful of John Effingham, and he was not sorry to continue his extracts, although he was obliged to bring himself still further under the fire of his assailant.
"'This morning,' Mr. Dodge resumed, I stepped into the coffee-room of the 'Shovel and Tongs,' public-house, to read the morning paper, and, taking a seat by the side of a gentleman who was reading the 'Times,' and drawing to me the leaves of the journal, so that it would be more convenient to peruse, the man insolently and arrogantly demanded of me, 'What the devil I meant?' This intolerance in the English character is owing to the narrowness of the institutions, under which men come to fancy liberty applies to persons instead of majorities.'"