“NOAH POKE,”
“the experienced navigator, who will conduct the ship of state into the haven of prosperity—the practical astronomer who knows by frequent observations, that lunars are not to be got in the dark.”
“Perpendiculars, be plumb, and lay your enemies on their backs!”
After this I fell in with—
“THE HONORABLE ROBERT SMUT,”
“is confidently recommended to all their fellow-citizens by the nominating committee of the Anti-Approved-Sublimated-Politico-Tangents, as the real gentleman, a ripe scholar, [Footnote: I afterwards found this was a common phrase in Leaplow, being uniformly applied to every monikin who wore spectacles.] an enlightened politician, and a sound Democrat.”
“But I should fill the manuscript with nothing else, were I to record a tithe of the commendations and abuse that were heaped on us all, by a community to whom, as yet, we were absolutely strangers. A single sample of the latter will suffice.”
“AFFIDAVIT.”
“Personally appeared before me, John Equity, justice of the peace, Peter Veracious, etc., etc., who, being duly sworn upon the Holy Evangelists, doth depose and say, viz.: That he was intimately acquainted with one John Goldencalf in his native country, and that he is personally knowing to the fact that he, the said John Goldencalf, has three wives, seven illegitimate children, is moreover a bankrupt without character, and that he was obliged to emigrate in consequence of having stolen a sheep.”
“Sworn, etc.”