He told Ben to be on his good conduct to-night, “because we can’t tell who is liable to be there. She has some very hoity-toity friends.”
Ben behaved for a while—until the drinks began to function in his anatomy and his brain. I tried all evening to get a few minutes alone with the Captain, but between his fervent attentions to the rather beautiful Fernande and Ben’s disorderly conduct about the place, I didn’t have a chance until we were on our way home, by which time he was the container of such a variety of wines and beverages that he dozed off before I could even begin to talk to him.
Ben finally decided that some sparkling water would revive all of us, so he stopped the cab and went in search of a bottle.... I found the Captain’s head slipping onto my shoulder, and I momentarily forgot what an unpleasant evening I had had. His hair brushed against my cheek and it seemed so natural, such a little thing, that I just couldn’t resist the impulse to brush my lips ever so lightly across his mouth.
“Ah, Fernande!” sighed the Captain, and I could have choked him.
“LEONY!”
I almost fainted dead away from the shock, for there was Ben, back again and with a bottle. He had certainly seen me kiss the Captain.
He climbed into the cab and growled thickly, “Good thing we’re goin’ home. You’re drunker’n a cow’s tail!”
The Captain opened his eyes stupidly and said, “I thought that Fernande was making love to me.”
“Fernande, hell, Cap!” exclaimed Ben. “That was Leony tryin’ to wake ya up.... He’s drunk, an’ ye’re drunk ... an’ I guess I’m the only sober man in the party.”
I saw my way out then, so I began to laugh uproariously, trying to sound as cockeyed drunk as I could. I laughed at Ben when he told the Captain “Leony’s drunker’n a soupbean!” And I laughed when the Captain surveyed me, mockly critical, and voiced his opinion of people “that get drunk all of a sudden without giving any warning.” And I laughed again when Ben bawled me out, saying, “I’m ashamed of ya, Leony. Damfyever thought I’d live to see you in this condishun.”