He was sweating gumdrops now as he took another long look at the four feet. Making a great effort, he lunged after one of them and brought up the one of mine that he had worked on first. The shoe was untied, so he pulled it off and solemnly planked it on the floor. He began to chuckle. “Guess ya ain’t so drunk, Benny, when ya can take ya’re shoes off!” And then, although neither of his own shoes were off, he fell back across the bunk with a lusty grunt of satisfaction. The poor devil had taken off two shoes, and he knew he only had two feet, so his conscience was perfectly clear in the matter.... No, he wasn’t drunk!
Well, I could have laughed or cried. I just felt like being hysterical—doing anything crazy! I looked at him, pulled him around so his feet and head were on the bed, looked at him again and said, “Why in the name of God, didn’t you do that three hours ago, you big roughneck!”... Then I crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep, because I knew he’d never hear me crying, and a girl just has to cry once in a while.
By the time we got ready to pull out in the morning, my nerves had quieted down and I felt more like myself. After all, why should we worry and fret about it—we’d get married later. I told Clark as much when he came down to see us off, but he still felt sore about it and he said, “The next time, we’ll get rid of him if we have to have him arrested!”
Ben appeared just then, and greeted the Captain with a hangover grin. “Well, Captain, your honor, sir, I certainly did hate to have to show you to your home, last night, but I was afraid o’ gettin’ pinched for bein’ with a disorderly lady.”
I thought Clark would take a poke at him then, but he didn’t and after a minute or so he actually smiled at Ben and said, “You’re still drunk, but I hope you can sober up before you get up where there’s any danger.... And Ben, Leony’s sister made me promise to take care of him, so I’ll have to leave him in your charge. See that he comes back safe and sound, will you? His sister’d be off me for life if anything happened to him.”
“Captain, sir,” replied Ben, taking his hand so solemnly that I knew at once he was still drunk, “I like you, I like Leony, and I liked his sister, and I can tell you that unless Leony begins gettin’ too familiar with me, I’ll bring him back as you mention.... Don’t worry about us, Captain!” He laughed. “There ain’t no boche got my number! No, sir!”
And just then the General and Chilblaines appeared. Clark saluted them and us and walked away.... A few minutes later and we were off to Meaux and Château Thierry. I guess I was just as happy now that we didn’t get married, for it occurred to me that it would be just my luck to start raising a family the very first thing. I remember that I once said
“When I get to be a lady
I’m going to have a baby
If I can