Apologizing for my presumptuous intrusion, I stated in a concise manner, the fright I had endured, from the dog, my embarrassment at not being able to find means of egress from the pleasure-ground, and my having consequently taken the liberty of knocking at the window. I then presented my memorial, which was read in turn by most of the company, each of whom surveyed me with evident surprise. Having answered such queries as they thought proper to put to me, I was desired by the lady of the house to withdraw to the kitchen for a short time, and a servant was ordered to attend me thither. Here I had my story to repeat for the information of the domestics, who laughed heartily at the adventure of the dog, but afterwards seriously assured me, that had the animal not been chained, or had I approached within his reach, he would inevitably have torn me to pieces. The parlour dinner being over, and the dishes brought out, I was desired to fall to, and being really hungry I wanted no pressing, but selected from the variety of good things on the table a very fine buttock of beef, on which substantial fare I made a sumptuous meal. There was no scarcity of good malt liquor, and Lady W⸺ very kindly sent me out a pint of red port, with a particular injunction (which by-the-by was unnecessary,) that I should eat and drink heartily.
At length I was summoned to attend the company in the parlour, and her ladyship then expressing her concern for my misfortunes, and her anxious hope that I should speedily find an end to them, presented me with half-a-guinea. The rest of the party also said many handsome things, and the majority of them contributed to my relief. In addition to these favours, one of the gentlemen, at the particular request of Lady W⸺, took the trouble to write a letter in my behalf to the captain of a man-of-war, supposed to be then lying at Portsmouth, entreating him to give me an appointment under him. Her Ladyship, after obliging me to take another glass of wine, and repeating her sorrow for my distress, advised me to lose no time in prosecuting my journey, ordered a servant to conduct me to the door at which I had first entered her premises, and I took a respectful leave of this truly benevolent party.
Returning to the Eight Bells, I imparted my adventures to my friend, who was, of course, much pleased at my success, for I had realized between four and five pounds. I found this begging scheme so productive, that I was in no hurry to pursue the Portsmouth speculation, and as we were both satisfied with our present quarters, it was agreed that we should continue a few days longer in Kingston, in which time I proposed to follow up my success by making a regular circuit among the inhabitants; and I, in fact, determined to levy similar contributions in every town which lay in our route.
It is to be observed, that this idea of raising money was perfectly original in me, for at that time I had never heard of such a practice, but have since discovered that it is a very common expedient, and is called by those persons who live by such impositions, “the Letter Racket.”
The following day I again sallied forth, and met with equal success, visiting not only the houses of private persons, but even the respectable shopkeepers, &c.; and I may here state, once for all, that in the course of this, as well as my subsequent speculations of the same nature, I met with various receptions, according to the charitable or churlish dispositions of the people to whom I applied. Many pitied my case and cheerfully relieved me. Others expressed equal commiseration, but declined giving any thing, either because “they never encouraged beggars,” or “they had poor enough of their own to maintain.” Some invited me into their parlours, treated me with excessive politeness, and obliged me to take refreshment at their own tables; and where there were any young ladies in the family, I was an object of particular solicitude, and the recital of my misfortunes drew many a sigh from their tender bosoms. Others desired me, like the Mayor of Kingston, to go about my business, and hinted that I ought to be sent to the house of correction as a vagrant. Sometimes the servants who admitted me refused to present my memorial, declaring they had strict orders from their masters or mistresses never to trouble them on such an occasion. The donations I commonly received, were from one shilling to five; sometimes, but rarely, I was presented with gold, particularly at the seats of the nobility and gentry, all which, laying within a short distance of the road I travelled, I made a point of calling at; and for my information on this subject, I provided myself with a comprehensive book of roads, in which those objects are correctly laid down. Some truly charitable persons, but whose means were limited, relieved me with sixpence, and of course I was bound to accept such a trifle with as much appearance of thankfulness, as I would a larger sum; and frequently when I called at a farm house by the road-side, I have been compelled to take some cold meat, or other eatables, which I afterwards bestowed upon the first more needy beggar I met on my way. It was my custom in general, to travel on foot, making short stages, and putting up at a good inn in every town I entered, where I lived upon the best during my stay, and associated with London riders, and other respectable guests. When tired of walking, I availed myself of a passing stage-coach, or return post-chaise, and my only equipage was a spare shirt, handkerchief, &c., which, with my book of roads, I carried in a small bundle under my arm.
To resume my narrative, I returned from my second day’s excursion about dusk in the evening, and entering the Eight Bells, was surprised at not finding my companion within. On inquiring of the landlady, the good woman informed me, with some degree of terror, that two of the town constables had been in search of me; and kindly exhorted me, if I was conscious of having done wrong, to make the best of my way from Kingston, as she expected them to call again every minute, adding that she believed my friend was gone out in quest of me. I smiled at the landlady’s fears, and thanking her for her friendly advice, assured her I was unconscious of any crime, and should willingly face the officers, come when they might. I then desired to have some tea, which she set about preparing, during which interval my fellow-traveller came in. I briefly concerted with him the part we should respectively act, in case of our being called upon to give an account of ourselves, though I had no conception on what grounds I was to be apprehended. We now proceeded to take our tea, but before we had half finished it, the constables entered the room, and informed me they had orders to carry me before the magistrates, who were then assembled in the town-hall; and that the young man, who they understood to be my comrade, must also accompany me. I answered, I would with pleasure attend them, but requested time to finish our repast, which they consented to allow us; and we then proceeded all together to the town-hall, the officers carrying our two bundles, which they had obtained from the landlady by order of the justices. Being brought before the bench, I immediately recognised among the persons in attendance, one of the gentlemen I had seen at Lady W⸺’s dinner party, and the very same who had written the letter of recommendation to Captain ⸺. This gentleman now stated to the magistrates the circumstance of my coming to Lady W⸺’s house the preceding evening, the extraordinary manner in which I had made my appearance, and the reception I met with; and farther stated, that the ensuing morning, it was discovered that a part of the fence enclosing the pleasure-ground had been broken, and other damage done on the premises, which led to a suspicion that I might be an impostor, who had a design to rob the house, or do some other mischief, and that he, therefore, on the part of Lady W⸺, wished me to be examined by their worships, and obliged to give some further account of myself.
Though the suspicions of Lady W. and her friends appeared to have been very weakly founded, and their idea to be utterly extravagant, the justices entered seriously into the spirit of the business, and ordering us to be set apart from each other, proceeded to interrogate us strictly as to our professions, business in Kingston, the objects of our journey, &c. I, for my part, adhered to the story I had before framed, which it is needless to repeat to the reader, being devoid of interest, and as it was for the most part utterly false, I cannot now minutely recollect it. My companion’s account of himself was nearer the truth. He stated that he had been an officer’s servant in the navy, and was now on his way to Portsmouth in quest of a similar situation, but denied any further knowledge of me than joining me by accident on the road, and as I was bound to the same place, we had agreed to keep each other company. Our bundles being next inspected, were found to contain nothing of a suspicious nature, except a number of pawnbrokers’ duplicates, and these we respectively accounted for as relating to wearing apparel, &c., which our pecuniary distress had obliged us to pledge. This part of the story was indeed strictly true, and in my case corroborated, and gave an air of probability to my account. Nothing appearing to warrant the detention of my companion, he was discharged, but with a positive order to quit the town instantly. As to myself, having mentioned, in answer to a query from one of the magistrates, the name of a certain gentleman, in London, who knew me and my family, his worship declared he was himself intimately acquainted with that gentleman, and as he was going to town the next day, he should make a point of referring to him as to the truth of my assertion. He therefore ordered a constable to detain me in custody until his return from London. I was accordingly confined in the officer’s house, where I had every necessary accommodation, for the expenses of which the magistrate himself very kindly became accountable. My companion visited me the same evening, prior to his departure, and I divided with him the money I had acquired. It was his intention to proceed direct to Portsmouth, and I promised, as soon as I was liberated to follow him, taking a direction whereby to find him on my arrival.
The ensuing evening the magistrate returned from town, and immediately sent for me to his own house. Being brought before his worship, who was a brewer, named Sidebottom, I found him seated, not on the chair of justice, but on a stool in his accompting-house. The old gentleman began by remarking with some severity, on the impropriety and turpitude of my conduct, in withdrawing myself from the protection of my respectable friends, and traversing the country under such debasing circumstances. He said he had understood from his friend Mr. Howell, that my relations were both able and willing to take care of my fortunes. After a long expostulation to the same effect, his worship continued: “Perhaps you are not aware that it is in my power to commit you to bridewell for a month for begging without a pass.” Then raising his voice and brandishing his pen, he exclaimed with a very pompous air, “Young man, I shall certainly⸺discharge you.” The two latter words relieved me from a momentary anxiety; for when his worship paused, I certainly expected he would add “commit you.” He proceeded, “but, on the express condition that you immediately quit this town, and return to your friends. If you are found hereabouts after this night, expect to be severely dealt with.” I gladly accepted these terms, and assuring the old gentleman of my compliance, took a respectful leave, his worship giving me a little more wholesome advice, and generously presenting me with half-a-crown, as he said, to carry me to London.
Being now discharged, I repaired to the Eight Bells, where I settled with my landlady, and learnt from her that my companion had left Kingston the preceding night at a late hour, by the Portsmouth coach. I slept this night at the Eight Bells, and the next morning returned to London, where on my arrival I found myself in possession of above five pounds, after all the impediments I had met with.