About eight days after my conviction, I was surprised at being summoned to the main-gate of the prison, to attend a gentleman who inquired for me. This person proved to be an attorney named Humphries, who, addressing me, stated that he called by desire of counsellor Knapp, to inform me that he (Mr. Knapp,) was sorry he had not been present at my trial, and that he had discovered a point of law, of which he hoped to avail himself so far as to obtain a revocation of my sentence; that he intended to submit this point to the judge who tried me, and had instructed him (Mr. Humphries,) to prepare a petition for the purpose, as it was Mr. Knapp’s opinion that I ought not to have been capitally convicted; but that nothing could be done till after the close of the session, and I must receive the sentence of death as a matter of form; adding, that I might make myself perfectly easy, as there was no danger of my suffering. I now inquired of Mr. Humphries, of what nature was the point or objection in question; but this limb of the law, assuming an air of importance, answered that it would be useless to explain it to me, as, if he did, I should not comprehend it! I was, however, convinced it related to the absence of the porter who was present in Bilger’s shop, and who ought to have attended my trial, for the reasons assigned in the preceding Chapter. I, therefore, smiled at the mean opinion he entertained of my understanding, but replied, that it was very well; I should depend on Mr. Knapp and on his (Mr. Humphries’,) good offices: and here ended our interview. For brevity’s sake, I shall inform the reader at once, that I never derived any benefit from the intimation conveyed to me by Humphries, although I several times wrote both to him and Mr. Knapp. But I rather think it was a trick of the former, (who is a designing artful pettifogger,) with a view of extorting money from me, on pretence of drawing up petitions or other documents in my behalf. I had, however, seen too much of the world to be the dupe of an Old Bailey solicitor. Two or three days after this event, the session being concluded, the whole of the prisoners convicted during their progress, were as usual taken down to the court to receive sentence. Myself and the other five men, together with two women, were first put to the bar. When asked, in my turn, what I had to say, “why judgment of death should not pass upon me?” I answered, that my counsel Mr. Knapp having intimated that he had discovered a legal objection to my conviction, I humbly hoped his Lordship would be pleased to respite the judgment. The recorder replied, “Prisoner, your request cannot be complied with; if your counsel had any thing to offer in arrest of judgment, he should have done so previous to the close of the session. I must, therefore, pass sentence upon you.” In this observation, I knew the recorder to be perfectly right; and though I was induced to make the trial, I had no hopes of gaining any thing by my motion; and I was now more fully convinced that either Mr. Knapp, or Mr. Humphries, or both, had deceived me, and that I had been altogether very shamefully neglected. His Lordship then proceeded to pass the awful sentence in the usual form, which he prefaced with a very pathetic and impressive address, that drew tears from the surrounding auditors. The other prisoners were then put to the bar in rotation, and variously sentenced; and among those transported for seven years, was poor Bromley, who, though capitally indicted, had the good fortune to be convicted of simple felony only. Thus we were both a second time convicted the same session, as if his fate was involved in mine. He was, a few weeks afterwards, sent on board the same hulk at Portsmouth, in which he had before served seven years; and as he never came to this colony, he will, (if he survives,) in a few months be discharged, and once more return to the scene of our former exploits. I sincerely hope that his past sufferings will, however, warn him to avoid a continuance of his guilty courses, and to amend his life.
The recorder’s report to the King being, on some accounts, delayed, I continued eleven weeks in the cells, in which time the number of condemned persons had increased to eighteen! At length, the report was made. About eight o’clock on Friday night, the 3d of May, Mr. Newman entered the press-yard; and, as myself and companion listened with palpitating hearts on their approach, we heard one of the turnkeys utter the words “Cook and Lowe.” I confess that at the moment, I was under considerable alarm; which the reader will allow to be natural, when he considers that my fate was still doubtful, and that my life or death depended on a single word from the keeper, who came to announce it. Hearing our two names particularly mentioned, as he advanced towards our cell, was also a circumstance calculated to increase our mutual terror. At length the door was unlocked; and by this I knew that one of us, at least, was doomed to suffer, because they always visit first those who are ordered for execution. Mr. Newman entering with a grave countenance, addressed poor Cook in nearly the same terms he had done Nicholls on a former occasion; then turning to me, he said, “Lowe is respited.” My unhappy companion received the melancholy news, as he had always declared he should, with a cheerful aspect, nor appeared in the least dismayed. The jailer having withdrawn, Cook, after an inward struggle, assured me he felt perfectly reconciled; and after I had read to and consoled him for a short time, retired to bed, and slept apparently with more composure than usual. The next morning myself and the four others who had been reprieved, (poor Cook being the only one to suffer,) were, as usual, ordered to return to our respective wards; but Cook begged so earnestly that I would not quit him till the fatal day, that I could not avoid complying. In this period, his courage and resignation never once failed him. The same worthy man who had attended Nicholls, passed the last night with him, and I felt a melancholy pleasure in bearing them company. Cook, however, was so cheerful and well-prepared, that he slept profoundly the greatest part of the night, and, on being awaked at the usual hour, appeared equally serene and happy. I obtained leave to descend with him to the press-yard, where he washed himself, brushed his coat, and seemed pleased at his approaching release (as he termed it). I then, at his earnest request, accompanied him to the chapel, where he received the sacrament, of which I partook. Some breakfast having been prepared for him, he ate and drank with every appearance of a good appetite; after which, his irons being knocked off, and the hour approaching, I took an affectionate farewell of the poor fellow, who declared to me at parting, that he should go out with as much pleasure as if he was going to a fair or a race, and that he had rather die than live. I then left him, and repaired to my own ward, through the windows of which I saw him pass by to execution; and he really appeared to verify the promise he had made me; nodding, as he passed, to his fellow-prisoners, and having as fine a colour in his cheeks as ever I saw a man. I was informed that he preserved this disposition to the last moment, and died regretted by all who witnessed his deportment. As I now knew the consequence of my being respited, namely, that I was to be transported for life, I became anxious to leave England by the first ship for this colony, as I was not in circumstances to subsist for any length of time in a prison; and I wished, if possible, to avoid going to the hulks, as I had been fortunate enough to do on my first transportation. My wife, also, who had paid me the most dutiful attention since my confinement, was earnestly desirous to accompany me in my exile; and, with that view, she waited on a gentleman to whom I referred her, soliciting his interest to obtain that favour; but, although he used every effort, the application was refused, she having no family, and the secretary of state having set his face against such an indulgence, on account of the bad reports received of those women who had already been suffered to go out free with their husbands. I was equally unsuccessful in my application to be sent out by the ship Anne, which was on the point of sailing. At length my wife received a private intimation that I should be removed to the hulks the next morning; in consequence of which, my mother and sisters, whom I immediately summoned, came to take leave of me. I had only acquainted them with my misfortune since my being respited, and they were of course equally astonished and grieved at the news. My wife remained with me that night, and at four o’clock in the morning, myself and eleven others were conveyed by water on board the Retribution hulk at Woolwich.
I had now a new scene of misery to contemplate; and, of all the shocking scenes I had ever beheld, this was the most distressing. There were confined in this floating dungeon nearly six hundred men, most of them double-ironed; and the reader may conceive the horrible effects arising from the continual rattling of chains, the filth and vermin naturally produced by such a crowd of miserable inhabitants, the oaths and execrations constantly heard among them; and above all, from the shocking necessity of associating and communicating more or less with so depraved a set of beings. On arriving on board, we were all immediately stripped, and washed in large tubs of water, then, after putting on each a suit of coarse slop-clothing, we were ironed, and sent below, our own clothes being taken from us, and detained till we could sell or otherwise dispose of them, as no person is exempted from the obligation to wear the ship-dress. On descending the hatch-way, no conception can be formed of the scene which presented itself. I shall not attempt to describe it; but nothing short of a descent to the infernal regions can be at all worthy of a comparison with it. I soon met with many of my old Botany Bay acquaintances, who were all eager to offer me their friendship and services,—that is, with a view to rob me of what little I had; for in this place there is no other motive or subject for ingenuity. All former friendships or connexions are dissolved, and a man here will rob his best benefactor, or even mess-mate, of an article worth one halfpenny. Every morning, at seven o’clock, all the convicts capable of work, or, in fact, all who are capable of getting into the boats, are taken ashore to the Warren, in which the royal arsenal and other public buildings are situated, and are there employed at various kinds of labour, some of them very fatiguing; and while so employed, each gang of sixteen, or twenty men, is watched and directed by a fellow called a guard. These guards are most commonly of the lowest class of human beings; wretches devoid of all feeling; ignorant in the extreme, brutal by nature, and rendered tyrannical and cruel by the consciousness of the power they possess; no others, but such as I have described, would hold the situation, their wages being not more than a day-labourer would earn in London. They invariably carry a large and ponderous stick, with which, without the smallest provocation, they will fell an unfortunate convict to the ground, and frequently repeat their blows long after the poor sufferer is insensible. At noon the working party return on board to dinner, and at one again go on shore, where they labour till near sun-set. On returning on board in the evening, all hands are mustered by a roll, and the whole being turned down below, the hatches are put over them, and secured for the night. As to the food, the stipulated ration is very scanty, but of even part of that they are defrauded. Their provisions being supplied by contractors, and not by Government, are of the worst kind, such as would not be considered eatable or wholesome elsewhere; and both the weight and measure are always deficient. The allowance of bread is said to be about twenty ounces per day. Three days in the week they have about four ounces of cheese for dinner, and the other four days a pound of beef. The breakfast is invariably boiled barley, of the coarsest kind imaginable; and of this the pigs of the hulk come in for a third part, because it is so nauseous that nothing but downright hunger will enable a man to eat it. For supper, they have, on banyan days, burgoo, of as good a quality as the barley, and which is similarly disposed of; and on meat days, the water in which the beef was boiled, is thickened with barley, and forms a mess called “Smiggins,” of a more detestable nature than either of the two former! The reader may conceive that I do not exaggerate, when I state, that among the convicts the common price of these several eatables, is,—for a day’s allowance of beef, one halfpenny;—ditto, of cheese, one halfpenny;—ditto, of bread, three-halfpence; but the cheese is most commonly so bad, that they throw it away. It is manufactured, I believe, of skimmed milk for this particular contract. The beef generally consists of old bulls, or cows who have died of age or famine; the least trace of fat is considered a phenomenon, and it is far inferior upon the whole to good horse-flesh. I once saw the prisoners throw the whole day’s supply overboard the moment it was hoisted out of the boat, and for this offence they were severely flogged. The friends of these unhappy persons are not allowed to come on board, but must remain alongside during their visit; the prisoners are, it is true, suffered to go into their boat, but a guard is placed within hearing of their conversation, and if a friend or parent has come one hundred miles, they are not allowed above ten minutes’ interview; so that instead of consolation, the visit only excites regret at the parties being so suddenly torn asunder. All letters, too, written by prisoners, must be delivered unsealed to the chief mate for his inspection, before they are sent ashore; and such as he thinks obnoxious, are of course suppressed. In like manner, all letters received from the post-office are opened and scrutinized. If I were to attempt a full description of the miseries endured in these ships, I could fill a volume; but I shall sum up all by stating, that besides robbery from each other, which is as common as cursing and swearing, I witnessed among the prisoners themselves, during the twelvemonth I remained with them, one deliberate murder, for which the perpetrator was executed at Maidstone, and one suicide; and that unnatural crimes are openly committed.
CHAPTER X.
I embark a second Time for New South Wales.—Indulgently treated by the Captain.—My Employment during the Voyage.—Arrive at Port Jackson after an Absence of Four Years.—My Reception from Governor Macquarrie.—Assigned by Lot to a Settler.—His brutal Treatment of me.—I find means to quit his Service, and return to Sydney.
From the description I have briefly given of the hulks, the reader will easily believe I ardently longed for the moment which was to release me from so miserable an existence. That happy day at length arrived. On the 15th of June, 1810, I was removed from the Retribution, in company with fifty-four others, to Long-reach, a few miles below Woolwich, where we were put on board the Indian, which ship had recently been fitted at Deptford for the reception of two hundred prisoners. The next day we sailed for Gravesend, and at this place I anxiously hoped for a farewell visit from my wife, to whom I had written from Woolwich on the morning of my embarkation, acquainting her with my approaching departure. She had attended me at least once a month, during my stay at Woolwich, and supported me as well as her circumstances would permit. We remained at Gravesend three days, but she did not appear; and in our progress from thence to Spithead, we took on board at the Nore forty-five more convicts from the Zealand hulk at Sheerness. In a few days we arrived at Spithead, where we received one hundred prisoners from the hulks at Portsmouth, and Langston harbour; soon after which I had a letter from my wife, stating that she had arrived at Gravesend on the evening of the day our ship departed, and brought with her a supply of the most necessary articles for my comfort; that on finding, to her grief, that she was too late, she had been advised to follow the ship to Sheerness; which she, in fact, did, and arrived at that place on the very day after we had taken in the prisoners, and immediately proceeded on our voyage, without even coming to an anchor. Thus she was again fatally disappointed; and having incurred this expense, and endured much fatigue, she had been obliged to return to town; but added, that if possible, she would see me before we sailed from Portsmouth. This, however, she was not enabled to accomplish, her health and circumstances being both unfavourable to the undertaking. But I received, on the 18th of July, when we were quite ready for, and in hourly expectation of, sailing, a letter from her, in which she expressed her concern at not being in a condition to visit me; but gave me advice that she had packed up some clothes and other necessaries, of which she enclosed a list; and that the trunk containing them would arrive by the Gosport coach at a certain time and place. I had not received this letter from the hands of our captain above half an hour, when the Lion of 64 made the signal to weigh; and from that moment no boat was permitted to leave the ship, so that I went to sea without the smallest comfort for the voyage, or any wearing apparel except the suit of slops I had on. We accordingly got under weigh immediately, and sailed, in company with the Lion, and the Chichester store-ship. The former had on board the Persian ambassador and suite, and was bound for Bombay. The latter was destined for St. Helena, and we were to accompany them (under convoy,) as far as the latitude of the Cape of Good Hope. We were no sooner at sea, than Captain Barclay, who had been induced to notice me from the recommendation of a female passenger who was going out to New South Wales, and who (singular to relate,) had actually come home with me in H. M. Ship Buffalo; the Captain, I say, from her representation of my abilities, and from an application I made to him by letter, treated me with peculiar kindness. I was released from irons, and appointed to assist the steward in the issue of provisions, &c., both to the prisoners, the ship’s company, and the troops. As the steward himself was not very expert, and an indifferent scholar, I had the chief management of the whole business, and the arrangement of all the victualling accounts. From the experience I had formerly gained, I was perfectly at home in this situation, and gave satisfaction to all parties. I also wrote the ship’s log-book, and executed many services with my pen for Captain Barclay himself. The effects of this favourable distinction and confidence were, that I had every personal comfort the ship afforded during our passage, lived tolerably well, and accumulated a decent change of clothing to equip myself on our arrival at Port-Jackson. Nothing but the usual routine of occurrences befel us in this voyage. We touched first at Madeira, and afterwards at Rio-de-Janeiro, but our stay at both places was short. The day after we quitted the latter, in company with our Commodore and the store-ship; both these vessels so far outsailed us, that we lost sight of them and separated, continuing our course alone without interruption, and, with tolerable expedition, to the end of our voyage. On the 16th of December, we anchored in Sydney-cove, from which place I had been absent nearly four years.
I soon learnt that the news of my second transportation, and in fact of my principal adventures in London, had preceded my own arrival; and that, consequently, no surprise was excited by my appearance, I also heard, to my mortification, that from the changes which had taken place in public affairs since my departure from the colony, most of the departments were filled by strangers, from whom I could expect no indulgence; and that not only these officers, but the Governor himself, had conceived a violent prejudice against those unfortunate and misguided persons, who by a renewal of their vicious courses on returning to their native country, subject themselves to a second disgraceful banishment, and seem thereby to indicate that they are incapable of reformation, and systematically depraved. From this intimation I had reason to expect a cool reception; whereas, during my former residence in the colony, I witnessed many instances of persons who returned under the sentence of the law, being most cordially received, and preferred to any vacant appointment much sooner than a stranger. On the 24th of December, I was landed with the rest of the prisoners, and the whole of us were drawn up in the jail-yard for the Governor’s inspection. It seems I had been particularly pointed out to his Excellency; for on approaching me, he asked me several questions respecting my employment under Governor King, and concluded with desiring Mr. Nicholls, the superintendent, to dispose of me at present to the Hawkesbury. His Excellency, however, paused a few moments before coming to this decision, and I was in hopes he had an idea of giving me a clerical employment. The Governor then added, that if I behaved well, something might in time be done for me, or to that effect. I was much disappointed on this occasion, as I too well knew the hardships I should have to encounter, if sent up the country and assigned to a settler. However, it was in vain to murmur, and about fifty of us were immediately conveyed by water to Parramatta, from whence we walked next day to Hawkesbury. On arriving at the town of Windsor, the settlers having been summoned by the magistrates, and there being a greater number of applicants for men servants than there were prisoners to dispose of, our names were written on tickets, and intermixed with a sufficient number of blanks, (we being the prizes at the disposal of Dame Fortune,) and then each settler in turn drew a ticket, which on being opened, published the good or ill luck of the drawer. It was my fate to be drawn by a settler called “Big Ben,” and with him I quitted the scene of action, and prepared to remove my little baggage to the farm of my new master. As I had been intimately acquainted with this man, and in fact with every inhabitant of Hawkesbury, when I formerly officiated as clerk to Mr. Baker, the store-keeper, I flattered myself that he would treat me with more kindness, or at least with less severity than a total stranger; and every one who recollected me, declared I had been fortunate in getting such a master; and that Ben, on the other hand, could not have drawn a man more eminently qualified to render him essential service; as, although his agricultural and commercial speculations were both extensive, he was himself perfectly illiterate, and obliged to hire a free man to attend him at stated times, and arrange his books. But I soon found, to my sorrow, that I had little reason for self-congratulation. ’Tis true, this ignorant and good-for-nothing fellow was glad to avail himself of my talents, and thereby save the expense he had before incurred; but he thought it too much to support me in a ration of provisions in return for my services, though I should have been satisfied therewith. His avarice was such, that he expected me to act in the double capacity of his clerk and labourer; and he accordingly measured out the prescribed portion of ground which he required me to break up with the hoe, well knowing I had not been accustomed to hard labour, and that I was in fact incapable of the task. My remonstrances produced the most unfeeling replies on his part, accompanied with threats of getting me flogged, and every other species of tyrannical persecution. This wretch, though now possessed of thousands, was a few years ago one of the poorest objects in the colony, and as defective in bodily as in mental endowments; nor was his present opulence so much the effect of laudable industry, as of a natural low cunning he possessed, which qualified him to take advantage of floods, temporary scarcities, and other casual events; and becoming an adept in the arts of monopoly and extortion, he by degrees attained the rank of a first-rate settler, and, in the opinion of his dependants, but much more so in his own, is a man of consequence. His late prosperity has rendered him over-bearing and cruel to his inferiors (I mean in fortune,) while he is meanly servile to his superiors. In fact, the old proverb “Set a beggar on horseback,” &c., was never more aptly applied than to “Big Ben.” According to the lately-established custom, I had been assigned to this brute, by indenture, for three years; but the misery of my situation daily increasing, I determined to try every method of obtaining my deliverance from his power. After struggling with many hardships for about five weeks, during which I was generally employed at some laborious work in the field, or in drudgery about the house, from morning till evening, and sleeping in a barn over-run with vermin at night, I at length found means, through the friendly aid of an acquaintance, to escape from the hands of my persecutor, though much against his will; and the reader may judge of the malignity of his disposition by the following circumstance. I must premise that I could get away by no other means than counterfeiting sickness; in consequence of which I was ordered (by the humanity of the resident surgeon,) to the general hospital at Sydney. It would appear that Benn[50] suspected this stratagem, for, after trying all he could to obstruct my success, he used these remarkable words at parting, “Aye, you may go;—but if you are six months in the hospital, I’ll have you again when you come out. I know you’re of no use to me, but I’ll keep you, if it’s only to torment you.” However, as his avarice would not allow him to send a fortnight’s ration with me to the hospital, (in which case he might have reclaimed me had I been then discharged,) I knew myself to be effectually free from his further persecution; and I had soon afterwards the pleasure to hear that he had applied for, and obtained, another man in my room. Indeed, so great was my aversion to this unfeeling monster, that I was determined to endure corporal or other punishment rather than have returned to him: but surely, the threat he used on my leaving him, ought, when made known, to have precluded him from ever having it in his power to realize so hellish an idea!