On Friday, the 13th of September, the Victory having been compleatly prepared, dropped down to St. Helen's, ready for the hero's reception. To his lordship and friends, this was a terrible day. Some of his relatives had previously left Merton, that they might escape the dreaded agonies of so painful a separation. Mr. and Mrs. Matcham continued to the last; and sustained, with their best fortitude, the severe shock of such a parting. His lordship, kindly affectionate to all, had repeatedly declared that, from the first prize-money which he should be fortunate enough to obtain, amounting to thirty thousand pounds, he would make a present of five thousand to his brother, and the same sum to each of his two sisters: and, on Mr. Matcham's expressing a wish that his lordship might retain Mrs. Matcham's share, he replied—"No; she has an equal claim with her other sister and my brother." So equally did they all participate in his fraternal regards.
Lord Nelson had not, yet, been quite a month in England, and much of even that short period was occupied in preparations for his departure; yet he had, now, lived longer in the society of Lady Hamilton and his friends, than at any time since the death of Sir William. The affection Lord Nelson and Lady Hamilton entertained for each other, is not to be doubted; but it was a pure and virtuous attachment, founded entirely on mental esteem. Their loves were mutually the result of a most enthusiastic admiration of each other's heroic and magnanimous qualities. Those know little of the human heart, who require to be told what this sentiment is capable of effecting; and how little it has to do with the more gross and less durable tie of mere sexual or personal regard. That they would have been united, if his lordship had survived Lady Nelson, is a fact sufficiently known. In the mean time, never did the most chivalrous knight of antiquity cherish in his heart a more extravagant degree of adoration for the peerless princess of his affections, than that which our hero manifested for this accomplished lady. It was with her image continually before him, that he combated the enemies of his country. Her portrait was always placed in his cabin, which he familiarly denominated his guardian genius; and he constantly wore a fine miniature representation of her ladyship's charming features, suspended in his bosom. In short, he always thought, and freely said, that there was not her equal in the universe. The agonies of this parting are not to be described. His lordship, about ten at night, after visiting the chamber of his adopted daughter, and praying over the sleeping innocent, tore himself from her agonized ladyship, surrounded by his remaining relatives, and entered the chaise which conveyed him, by six o'clock next morning, to Portsmouth.
As a proof of Lord Nelson's ceaselessly ardent desire for the advancement of his beloved relatives, when his esteemed brother-in-law, George Matcham, Esq. attended him to the chaise door, his lordship feelingly lamented that it was not yet in his power substantially to serve Mr. Matcham; who immediately said—"My dear lord, I have no other wish than to see you return home in safety; as for myself, I am not in want of any thing."—"With your large family, my dear Mr. Matcham," affectionately replied his lordship, "you certainly require a very considerable addition to your fortune!" Can any thing compensate, to his family, the loss of such a brother?
"Friday night," writes his lordship, "at half past ten, I drove from dear, dear Merton; where I left all which I hold dear in this world, to go to serve my king and country. May the great God whom I adore, enable me to fulfil the expectations of my country; and, if it is his good pleasure that I should return, my thanks will never cease being offered up to the throne of his mercy! If it is his good providence, to cut short my days upon earth, I bow with the greatest submission; relying, that he will protect those so dear to me, that I may leave behind! His will be done.
"Amen! Amen! Amen!"
In this, which is extracted from his lordship's own private journal, written at the moment, warm from the heart, as well as in almost every other action of his life, is manifested that exalted desire to promote the glory of his king and country, and that earnest wish to secure every comfort for his family and friends, which animated his heroic soul to perform any exploit, where there was a possibility of attaining either of those desirable objects.
Lord Nelson, on arriving at Portsmouth, immediately arranged all his business: and, having embarked at the bathing-machines, got on board the Victory, about two o'clock; accompanied by his esteemed friends, the Right Honourable, George Rose, and the Right Honourable George Canning, who dined with the hero while he was preparing for sea.
The next morning, Sunday, September 15, at daylight, the Victory weighed, with light airs, and immediately sailed. Though five ships of the line, and a frigate, were then at Portsmouth, almost ready for sea, and under orders to join his lordship, he was resolved not to lose a moment in waiting for them. He had sailed, therefore, from St. Helen's, accompanied only by the Honourable Captain Blackwood in the Euryalus frigate: but, on the 17th, being off Plymouth, they were joined by the Ajax of seventy-four guns, Captain Brown; and the Thunderer of the same force, Captain Lechmere.
Lord Nelson, on the 26th of September, got round Cape St. Vincent; but it was late in the evening of the 28th, before he arrived off Cadiz, and joined Admiral Collingwood. His lordship was received, by the whole fleet, with every demonstration of the most enthusiastic joy. Being fully prepared to impart the particulars of the incomparable mode of attack which he had projected for the occasion, in all that force and vigour of genius which flashes irresistible conviction on the heart, and fills it, at once, with admiration, esteem, and astonishment, his lordship communicated, next morning, with the different commanders; whom he ordered on board the Victory, to be made acquainted with the particulars of his intended plan. "I believe," writes his lordship, "my arrival was most welcome; not only to the commanders of the fleet, but also to every individual in it; and, when I came to explain to them the Nelson touch, it was like an electric shock. Some shed tears, all approved. It was new, it was singular, it was simple; and, from admirals downwards, it was repeated—"It must succeed, if ever they will allow us to get at them! You are, my lord, surrounded by friends whom you inspire with confidence."—"Some," adds his lordship, "may be Judas's, but the majority are certainly much pleased with my commanding them." The letter from which this is extracted, was dated the 1st of October; on which morning, about four o'clock, our hero had been suddenly seized with a violent fit of those dreadful spasms which often so alarmingly afflicted him, "It is," says his lordship, "very odd! I was hardly ever better, than yesterday. Freemantle staid with me till eight o'clock; and I slept uncommonly well, but was awoke by this disorder. My opinion of it's effect, some one day, has never altered! However, it is entirely gone off, and I am only quite weak. The good people of England will not believe, that rest of body and mind is necessary for me! But, perhaps, this spasm may not come again these six months. I had been writing seven hours yesterday; perhaps, that had some hand in bringing it upon me." Thus lightly does he speak of his own sufferings, thus good-humouredly notice the little consideration of the country for his individual ease.
The Euryalus had been immediately stationed close off the harbour of Cadiz, for the purpose of watching every motion of the enemy, and instantly communicating whatever intelligence might be obtained; a service for which, Lord Nelson was persuaded, there could not possibly be a better officer than his friend the Honourable Captain Blackwood. At a more remote distance, but still within sight of the port, a detachment of a few ships of the line was placed in constant readiness to act against any single ships, or small squadrons, which might attempt to push out for sea; between which, and the main body of the fleet, remaining off Cape St. Mary's, was posted a line of frigates, sufficiently close for the whole to communicate by signal: so that his lordship could always, in a few minutes, be informed of every movement of the enemy. There were now thirty-six sail of the line visible in Cadiz, and they bore every appearance of being nearly ready for sea.