Observe how adroitly the cunning Joab aims his thrusts at the most vulnerable spot in both classes of his victims. "Publishers of newspapers," in the plenitude of Joab's generosity, are to have their choice between the onion seeds, the gospel, and the ready cash, if they will but make known to the world the incomparable qualities of the genuine Spanish article. And many of these publishers "called attention to the same" with a will, as the following copy of one of those notices will show:—
"Something new for Farmers and Gardeners.—See our advertising columns. If you want large onions, get the real Spanish seed—a change in the seed works wonders. We have seen bushels of onions imported from Spain of half a pound weight each, and as large as saucers."
It may be well to say here that no onion seeds, "Spanish" or other, were sent in compliance with the many orders which poured in upon the successful Sargent from all parts of the country, excepting that a few of those first received were supposed to have been answered by the sending of a few seeds of some kind, whether onion or grass, no one knew. Perhaps the recipients will discover in the course of time. The editors were equally unfortunate. Many of them selected the "Notes on the Gospels" in preference to the seed or the money, yet their wishes were not destined to be gratified.
Let us see how this tempting advertisement worked on the farmers and gardeners.
Here is farmer Johnson, whose boy has just brought in his weekly paper from the office, and who is proceeding to refresh himself after the labors of the week, with the record of what the world at large has been doing in the same time. He deliberately peruses the columns of his hebdomadal, dwelling with solemnity on the more weighty articles, and endeavoring to laugh over the funny ones, till, after having exhausted the "reading" department, his eye goes on in search of new advertisements, which he can distinguish at a glance, for he knows all the old ones by heart. His attention is arrested by the conspicuous heading, "Spanish Onion Seeds." He reads it over carefully, and studies every word, that he may be sure that he fully and correctly understands it; and then comparing it with the editorial notice of the same thing, he rapidly becomes convinced that Spanish onions must be great things, and that ten cents may be safely invested in the speculation. Visions of saucer-like onions rise before him; of prizes in Agricultural Exhibitions; and if he is an inhabitant of Connecticut, he fancies he sees the former renown of the ancient town of Pyquag, or Wethersfield, growing dim before the lustre of Spanish onions. Accordingly he sends the required dime to Joab, who proved to be like the elephant which had been trained to pick up coin from the ground and place it on a lofty shelf. Upon a certain occasion, a young gentleman was gratified by this performance, he having furnished a half-dollar for the display of the animal's skill. After the piece was safely deposited far out of reach, the youth requested the exhibitor to "make him hand it down again." "We never learnt him that trick," was the reply!
The enterprising Joab reaped an abundant harvest of dimes, and floods of papers poured into the Brooklyn post-office, each one containing his advertisement marked, agreeably to its conditions, and a few words written upon it by the editor, making his choice between the valuables promised by Sargent, and directing how to send the books, when they were the articles selected. These papers were of course charged with letter postage, and as the quantity which had arrived was becoming somewhat troublesome by its bulk, (since Joab took very good care not to inquire for them,) the post master sent to 266 Hicks Street, in order to notify him of the mass of news waiting for him at the office, as well as to make some inquiries in reference to the voluminous correspondence in which Mr. Sargent was engaged. But the person sent, returned with the report, "non est inventus," and the wary deceiver, having doubtless taken the alarm, came no more to the office to inquire for letters; so that although the rogue was "unwhipped of justice," a stop was put to his unrighteous gains. This case may serve as a warning to all, to look with distrust upon such advertisements emanating from unknown individuals, especially if the promises made are out of proportion to the "value received." In the present imperfect state of human nature, it is not common to find an individual offering through the papers most disinterested proposals for the good of people in general, without the fact coming to light sooner or later, that he had rather more prominently in view his own good in particular. And I will conclude with the following aphorism,—If you want onion seed, or anything else, send where you know you will not be cheated.
A GIFT ENTERPRISE.
The fraud of which I am about to speak, also depended in a great measure for its success on the fact that it could be carried on through the mails.