"If a merchant shuts up a letter he has written, between the leaves of his ledger, and locks that ledger in his safe, the man I will toast has caused the non-reception of that letter.
"If a poor debtor has no money to pay his dunning creditor, and writes a letter that he encloses fifty dollars, but encloses no money, having none to enclose, the man I will toast has stolen the money.
"If a good, warm-hearted, true friend, receives a letter from a dear (?) but poor friend, asking the loan of five dollars; and, desiring to be considered a good, warm-hearted, true friend, and at the same time to save his five dollars, writes a letter saying 'dear friend, I enclose to you the five dollars,' but only wafers into the letter a small corner of the bill,—the man I will toast has stolen the five dollars out of the letter, and in pulling it out, tore the bill.
"If a rail-road-bridge is torn down or the draw left open, and the locomotive is not able to jump the gap, but drops into the river with the mail, the man I will toast has caused the failure of the mail.
"This, gentlemen, is the stranger to you, whom I will toast. I give you, gentlemen—A Post-Office Clerk!"
CHAPTER XXII.
PRACTICAL, ANECDOTAL, ETC.
The wrong Address—Odd Names of Post-Offices—The Post-Office a Detector of Crime—Suing the British Government—Pursuit of a Letter Box—An "Extra" Customer—To my Grandmother—Improper Interference—The Dead Letter—Sharp Correspondence—The Irish Heart—My Wife's Sister.