Still, to carry on the farce of respect, I began first with the doctor's widow, and requested to know some of the particulars of her history; in order, when I came to describe her to some impatient bridegroom, I might be able to do so in the best manner for her interests.
'You know as well as I,' said she, 'that I once enjoyed the favour of that rose in the paradise of sweets, the King of Kings; that I was the first beauty in his harem, and the terror of all my rivals. But who can withstand the decrees of destiny? A new woman arrived, who was provided with a more powerful spell than I could possess for securing the Shah's love, and she destroyed my power. She feared my charms so much, that she would not rest until I was expelled; and then, for my misfortune, the Shah made a present of me to his chief physician. Oh, I shall never forget the pangs of my mind, when I was transferred from the glories and delights of the royal palace to the arms of the doctor, and to a residence among physic and gallipots! I will not repeat all the history of Zeenab. When the hakîm died, I endeavoured to revive the Shah's good feelings towards me; but the avenues to his ear were closed; and from one stage of misery to another I, who once could lead the viceregent of Allah by the beard, am reduced to seek a husband in the highway.'
Upon this she began to cry and bemoan her cruel destiny; but I in some measure pacified her, by the assurance that I would do all in my power to procure for her a suitable mate.
'You see,' said she, 'that I am still handsome, and that the career of my youth is yet to run. Look at my eyes: have they lost their brightness? Admire my eyebrows. Where will you meet with a pair that are so completely thrown into one? Then see my waist, it is not a span round.'
She went on in full enumeration of her most minute perfections, upon which I gazed with all my eyes, as she desired; but, instead of youth and beauty, I could make nothing better of her than an old fat and bloated hag, upon whom I longed to revenge myself, for her former ill-treatment to the unfortunate Zeenab.
The other two ladies then gave me a sketch of their lives. One was the widow of a silversmith, who had been blown from a mortar for purloining some gold, which he had received to make a pair of candlesticks for the king; and the other had turned mûti in her own defence, having been abandoned by her husband, who had fled from the wrath of the Shah, and sought refuge among the Russians.
They also endeavoured to persuade me that they were young and handsome, to which I agreed with as good a grace as I was able; and, having made the necessary notes in my register, I promised to exert myself to the best for their advantage. 'Recollect,' said one, 'that I am only eighteen.' 'Don't forget,' said another, 'that I am still a child.' 'Always keep in mind my two eyebrows that look like one,' roared out the hakîm's widow.
'Upon my eyes be it,' exclaimed I, as I left the room; and then I consoled myself for the sight of such a trio of frights, by giving vent to a peal of anathemas and laughter.
