THE coming round of extremes, so as to meet and disappear in each other’s ends, is a thing which all must have noticed, and why not I among the rest? I rather think that in my small way I couldn’t have done what I have done, if I hadn’t been a thinker, and so I have noticed the danger of overdoing things. Not only do strong passions, though good, land in the slough of evil, but overstretched prudence, cold and calculating, leads to a pretty considerable combustion. Yes, our old mother says, “Walk in the middle”—on the sides there are pitfalls; and yet we are never happy if we are not gaping over precipices, and talking of the picturesque and the sublime. No wonder a few topple over, and thus add to the picturesque.
When Mr C——, watchmaker in Arbroath, afraid as he was to leave his stock of watches in his shop, bethought himself of the prudent step of removing them at night, by a medium exposed to danger, he was just walking to the side. One night in January 1850, his two apprentices, in pursuance of their master’s care, collected all the watches—about fifty in number—with many other valuable things in silver and gold, and deposited them in a box, with the view of their being carried to Mr C——’s dwelling-house, at some distance from the shop. The shop was then locked up, and one of the lads, swinging the box on his back by means of a leather strap, proceeded, with his companion alongside of him as a guard, to the usual safe place of deposit. The night was pitch dark. Their way lay by a path where the houses were thinly scattered, and the property was thus placed in a far more dangerous position than if it had been left in a good safe under lock and key in the shop, also itself under lock and key, and all under the survey of neighbours—if not of the police. When some way on their road, up started two men, one of whom held the companion, while the other, applying a knife to the strap, undid the box and made off with it in an instant. The other, letting go his grip of the lad, was also off like a flash of lightning, and the extreme care of the valuable box was thus superseded by the effort of a few minutes. The boys were too much stunned to be able to pursue, even if they had had the courage, or even to bawl, though they had the common instinct. Like most other premeditated efforts, the thing was well done; and long before any hue and cry could be got up, the robbers were far away.
Next day the usual information came fulminating over to Edinburgh—usual, with the to-be-expected abatement, that no description could, in the circumstances, be possible. The boys, under the influence of the fear which paralysed them, could and did give nothing but a “travestie” of the features of the men. When I read the confused account,
“Why,” said I to the Lieutenant, “these noses, eyes, and chins, are so like what we see every day, that I might as well take up the Lord Provost as any one else.” And as I had been reading a funny satire of the man called Lavater, some nights before, I could not help being humorous in my own blunt way. “Do you know that a great man, Lichtenberg by name, a queer satirical body with a hunch, raised all Germany into a laugh, by publishing the figure of a pig with a nicely curled tail, and marked on one turn of the said tail ‘firmness,’ on another ‘benevolence,’ on another ‘murder,’ all of which went to shew the nature of the animal, just as Lavater labelled the features of a man’s face. So here we are required to find these two clever fellows, by signs given by two boys in the dark. I may find the watches, and thereby the men, and so far the intimation is proper and hopeful, but to expect us to find the men by their noses, is just rather too much.”
“You can only do your best, James,” said Mr Moxey, looking up at what he thought wonderfully learned in me.
“Yes, sir,” replied I, “but I know no best but detection; without that the best is the worst.”
So I could only try the usual places of deposit and pledge, when there might be time for the thieves getting here and disposing of their prey. Watches are “casting-up” things. They are seldom melted, for their value is so much more than that of the materials, and then they are always in request, so I had some chance of meeting them somewhere—at least one or more out of such a stunning number as fifty. Accordingly, I did my best in the dead-object way, but without any success, and I could trust only to time and continual dodging to arrive at any discovery.
Some time passed, I don’t remember how long. As for trying faces, it was out of the question, when I had neither image in my mind, or description to go by; and I need not say that I did not continue that, because I really never began it. But, as it will appear, my lucky genius had not flown away up above the stars to report how she had favoured me and had got enamoured of some other winged creatures, so as to delay her return. I was one night on my rounds in the Grassmarket, attended as usual by my companion. The night was not so dark as that one could not see a considerable way before. I was rather complaining that there was nothing to see. We were approaching Smith’s Close, when my ear was startled, and my eye directed towards a man who had instantaneously left a companion, and rushed with clattering steps up the close.
“Seize that one,” said I.
And after the other up the close I sprang at the top of my speed. I saw his dark figure before me, which, as the moon, getting from behind a cloud, threw a reflection, (made angular by the sky-line of the high houses,) came out in an instant, firm, clear, and distinct. There was no chance for him, and he knew it. She was not so kind to one of her “minions” on this occasion as she used to be in the old border times. Just as I was coming upon him, he whirled a guard from his neck and threw away a watch.