My next Topic is the Education of a young Lady of the first Quality; from which, if the Course of my Design did not make it necessary, I would gladly be excused: for as the most delicate Flowers require the tenderest Treatment, so the conducting a Woman of Quality thro’ the first Stages, and ushering her into the World, is of all others the nicest Part to act. Still, as Nature and Reason are my Guides; by them I hope to be enabled to offer some Aid, however small, for the promoting this great End.
As all Parents have a Right to exercise a proper Authority, so all Children, however high their Rank, should be taught to obey. Great Spirits may think Obedience mean; but Parents are to remember their Children’s Happiness is at stake: without Obedience they cannot regulate their Passions: and if not regulated, they have but little Chance for Happiness. Misfortunes with a Coronet, Misfortunes with a Coach and Six, are still Misfortunes; and it is the Business of every Parent so to conduct their Children, that they may on their part avoid them, or so to fortify them that they may bear them as they ought. But, as it is most agreeable to good Sense, I will conclude that Parents of the highest Rank are convinced of this, and have employed the Infant Age of their Children accordingly. What next is to be done? What Education is most proper for a young Lady of the first Quality? Such surely as will distinguish her from the Crowd; such as will more adorn her Mind, than the Jewels she wears adorn her Person.
The Errors committed in the Education of the Children of private Persons are many, from the Parents educating them above their Rank; still there is one general Excuse may be made for them, which is, that as the Turns of Fortune are sometimes very great, they don’t know what Occasion they may have for it. But in Persons of Quality the Case is different; they are already at the Summit, and their Education should suit their Rank. As soon therefore as the first Stage is over, (not to mention what she may have learnt during that Period) a young Lady’s Time is to be esteemed precious: Reading, Writing, Working, Dancing, French, Italian and Music are all to be taught her; and that not superficially, as is too much the Custom; not so as to puzzle and confound her Understanding, but to enlarge and improve it. A certain Author says, that there is not a Man in a thousand who reads well; if so, and Men assert a Superiority of Knowledge, it will be no unfair Conclusion to say, there is not a Woman in two thousand that does: but I hope this Gentleman’s Assertion is not true, and then the Conclusion falls of course. Still it is very certain, that much more is required to read our Mother-Tongue well, than is commonly imagined; and as that is really graceful, a young Lady should be taught to set a great Value on it. To know the Words and their Meaning is not sufficient; she must know the Pointing, the Emphasis and the Cadence; and she must know too, how, in different Parts, and on different Subjects, to modify her Voice, or she will never read well. To read with Energy and Beauty, we should know our Subject; and here the Understanding is concerned; this gain’d, we have nothing more to do but to keep close to Nature; for the greatest Fault committed in reading is, the throwing ourselves out of Nature. As I have formerly attended the Lectures of several public Professors, I remember one who committed this Fault of throwing himself out of Nature, as I have just observed; when he read, he put on a Tone of Voice not his own; when he laid down his Paper to explain what he had been reading, he was himself again; and thus was he in and out of himself, if I may be allowed the Expression, ten times in an Hour. And yet this was a Man of Letters, a Man of Science, a Philosopher!
The Hand-writing of a young Lady should have an easy Elegance in it; a Medium between the Italian, which tho’ beautiful to see is usually wrote very slowly, and that Meanness of Hand too common in the Sex. Either of these Faults in a Lady’s Hand-writing will appear in their true Light, if we consider that the Custom of writing familiar Epistles is one of the most important Steps in her Education. Nothing tends more to open the Mind, nothing bids fairer for gaining a Knowledge of the World, next to the seeing it, than the giving and receiving one another’s Thoughts with Freedom, in a virtuous Intercourse of friendly Epistles. Now an evident Obstacle to this is the Manner of Writing; if a young Lady’s Hand is a fine Italian, she hates the Thoughts of writing a Letter, because it will take up so much Time; and if it be a bad Hand, she says her Scrawl is so frightful, she is asham’d that any body should see it. But there is another important Reason for familiarizing a young Lady to her Pen, which is that of writing correctly. For a fine Lady not to spell with exact Propriety, is frightful beyond Expression; but when she has gained that, she possesses nothing till she writes with Grammar, with Stile, and a suitable Turn of Expression. Some, it is true, have by Nature a happier Turn this way than others, and may be said to be born with a Talent for Writing; but tho’ this be granted, yet certainly a great deal may be obtained by a due Care of their Education in this Point.
Needle-work is by no means below the Dignity of a Woman of Quality, therefore she should certainly be taught it; for tho’ it may not be called a thing she wants, yet the very Change of Employment is often a Pleasure: besides that the knowing it is really useful. I have seen a Woman of Quality at her sick Lord’s Bed-side, so far from being ashamed to own she could use a Needle, that what things of that kind were wanted during the Course of his Illness she would let nobody do for him but herself; and thus at the same time that her Tenderness and Concern proved the Sincerity of her Affection, she proved that it was not below her Quality to be notable too.
Dancing I mention in course, tho’ it is needless to recommend it here, not only because I have elsewhere done justice to this Part of Education, but because all are convinced of it’s Importance, as an Accomplishment which strikes the Beholder’s Eye, and gives more or less favourable Impressions in proportion as we excel in it. But here, to avoid Error, the End of Dancing should be remembered; that it is not so much for the sake of shining at a Ball (tho’ that too may sometimes be necessary) but to give an easy Air and Grace to all the Motions of the Body.
French, in it’s Purity and Perfection, is a great Ornament to a Lady’s Education; but that is not all: it is not only polite, but highly useful; both as she may have frequent Occasions to speak it, and as there are many good Authors in that Language not yet translated into ours.
Italian and Music for a fine Lady should be inseparable; for tho’ it is allowed that our Music is vastly improved within half a Century past, yet the Critics in that way insist, that Music in our Language is incapable of equalling the Italian, from the great Number of Consonants it abounds with.
When a young Lady is advanced thus far, she has certainly done a great deal; but not enough. If she is taught to think that the Great must be distinguished by their superior Knowledge, she will be animated with a Desire to acquire it; and not sit down contented with an inferior Degree of it. Still, as deep Studies and very close Application seem by Nature more the Province of Men than Women, so I have not urged the Study of the more learned Languages; and will leave this Point to be determined by the Parents and Preceptors. History, ’tis true, gives us many Examples of Queens and Ladies of every Rank, who were distinguished by their great Learning. Sir Thomas More, High Chancellor of England, in a Letter to his Daughter, commends her for the Purity and Elegance of her Latin; and Madam Dacier, Daughter of Tanaquil Faber, is well known (besides her other learned Works) to have translated Homer from the Greek: but these are rare Examples, and such perhaps as should rather be admired than imitated. Nature, I think, points out to us, that the Education of a Woman should rather be sprightly than grave; thus polite Literature seems a fitter Study for a Lady than Syllogisms in Logic. However, that a Lady of Quality may by no means be deficient, she should have, besides what is already recommended, a Knowledge of Arithmetic, Geography, and Drawing; to which may, with great Propriety, be added, at least a general Acquaintance with Moral and Experimental Philosophy.
The Sketch here given is not to be considered as the Edifice, but the Ground-work, the Foundation alone; the Superstructure is still to be raised. In order thereto a young Lady is to be nicely directed what Language she should speak, and what shun: what ought to be her Sentiments, her Deportment, and her Actions. But first she should be taught to know that the World has it’s Eyes upon her, and that in proportion as she increases in Merit, so much nearer will she approach to gaining universal Admiration and Esteem. The Reasonableness of this Admonition will appear, if it be considered how many Actions we do unworthy ourselves, only because we are unobserved, or at least think we are so; whereas by keeping our Attention awake, and considering ourselves as always beheld, we shall often blush at the very Approach of Vice and Folly, and thus nobly fly from them. Yet this Consideration of being beheld, tho’ in itself a Virtue, must be carefully inculcated and nicely distinguished, lest it degenerate into a vain Desire of Applause: her Business is to deserve Esteem, but not to look for it. We often see a half-bred Player stare about him when he has finished his Speech, as if he would beg a Clap, a Smile, or a Nod of Approbation; but we never see this in a thorough bred one; he attends to his Part, to his Business, and nothing else; he knows that the best way to obtain and secure Applause, is to deserve it.